Remember when you were little and fell and scraped your knee? When you did, you most likely didn't want to fall back down. You didn't want to have to hurt like that again so you were motivated to do better. Well, I am the same way. My sadness and pain actually motivate me.
   

I beleive that you choice to be happy. I also believe that if you allow it, the bad days will make the good days better. In this case, I also believe that your success relies on how hard you strive for it. For as long as I can remember, I've done my best to make something of myself and rise above my circumstances. But, my determination was rooted deeply into some of the darkest times in my life.

From the time I was about two years old, I was deprived of much of my childhood. This was due to my abusive father, visitation, court hearings, police questioning, and years of counseling. I didn't know how to process my feelings or even tell what I had been through because I was so young. It was always in my mind but felt impossible to voice. From this, I developed many disorders including anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, and bipolar disorder. I suffered so much but over the years, I managed it and improved a lot. I began to understand much more and recover.

I was doing great but downfalled again once I hit my teenage years. By the time I was thirteen, I had moved four times. Now I have moved eight since then. I had problems making friends or becoming attached because I knew I would have to leave them behind. I was bullied so much because I was smaller than most, was from Florida, was sensitive, and anything else they could find to pick me apart for. It hurt me to the point that I went home crying everyday. My anxiety got worse and I became depressed. I lost my feeling of purpose and self confidence. I quit talking as much, opening up to people, and even small things like dressing cute and sleeping. I became really antisocial when it came to my family and stayed in my room at all times because I didn't want to fight with my mom since our relationship has never been okay.

Eventually I decided enough was enough. I was tired of feeling the way I had for so long so I decided that if my circumstances or the people around me wouldn't change, I had to change myself. I changed my perspective and decided that others opinion of me didn't matter. I began to embrace all my insecurities, learn to love myself and my life, and let the pain of my past motivate me. When others tried to hurt me, it quit bothering me as much. I learned to love my life even when it felt horrible at times or like the pain would never end. That for me, helped so much. I didn't rely on anyone to make me better or happy but instead learned more about who I was and how I could make that better. I wanted and still want to go as far with my life as possible and to never stop until I make it.

Somewhere between falling off my bicycle and having my crayons stolen to crying myself to sleep and wondering why people had done to me what they did, I decided I could turn all that sadness into ambition. We don't get to change our pasts but we can change how we look at it and how we use it to apply to our future. We can use it to make ourselves better and to be an inspiration to others. We can use it to motivate us for our future and to make our future a success while working for it in the present. As Dr. Maraboli once said, "Let your past be your springboard, not your quicksand."