It’s crazy, it feels just like yesterday when I tried to take my life away. I was pushed off the edge. Nobody was there, they didn't even care. I was all alone, cold, empty and, scared. Nobody wanted me around .I wasn't important . they didn't need me . I was just a waste of space . school was the worst, walking down the halls hearing them mumble “fat” “ugly” “wh**e.” I didn't know what I did for everyone to hate me. They made me feel so low . they thought it was funny, my pain was a joke.



December 19, 2013. I waited until everyone was asleep. I got out my blade and 3 bottles of pills . 1 cut , 2 cuts ,3 cuts , 4… blood was dripping everywhere . Tears were hitting the floor . I popped the pills and turned out my light. 20 minutes later I was sound asleep. when I woke up the next morning I didn't feel right . My vision was blurry , my ears were ringing ,I couldn't stand up. I got scared and woke my mom up .. I told her what happened and she started crying … she said “why would you do this” “we need to get to the hospital” I started passing out . Everything was happening so fast. They were stabbing me with needles trying to keep me awake . I was dead asleep for about 11 hours straight … when I finally woke up at 7 pm I got the news I was being sent away . I instantly burst into tears . I didn't think things could get any worse than here . They told me it was time to go because the ambulance was here . On the way out I started to feel funny again. We got to the psych ward and i started passing out . They called upstate , I got rushed to the ER . I started having dystonic reactions , I couldn't breathe .I was so scared . They hooked me up to oxygen and I started to relax. I was there for the next 4 days hooked up to a bunch of crazy machines. Then I got better and I had to leave, I hugged my mom so tight and said goodbye .


They brought me upstairs .. I was really nervous to see all the other people … they were all super nice . I kinda liked it ,I was with a group of people going through the same issues . I suddenly didn’t feel alone . everyday I learned to love myself a little more . I realized I was worth a lot more . People love me and people care. I made some awesome friends who are still here for me today . I finally got out on new years eve my whole family surprised me with a little “welcome home party” I was so happy I hugged everybody. It felt so good to see them . I learned my lesson , I got a little bit better everyday . I learned to see the good in the bad. I am so much happier now . Keep moving forward and , never look back .