Safety comes from the mind, it is a feeling of delightful comfort, a feeling of acceptance, and a feeling of contentment. Safety can be found in the golden rays of the warm sun. Or safety can be found in the comfort of your own cozy home. But for me the overwhelming comfort of safety comes from a simple thought, a simple number; the number thirty seven. Such a very simple few letters that bring a memory of past fear that gave me strength and I want to share with you the reader of this adventurous story the meaning behind this simple number.

I had my own magical kingdom when I was younger, made of an imaginary steel that kept all of the evil monsters of the cruel earth out. It was a large stark white bathroom, with thirty seven beautiful white and blue tiles. The tiles like the oceans from the waters of the Bahamas, white foam surrounding tiny specks of blue ocean waters. I imagined being a princess, on a cruise ship floating through the waters far from any harm. Just myself and the waters, until the screeching voice from the room beside my kingdom pushes my beautiful ocean out of sight out of mind. I cling to the side of the fiberglass tub blocking out the screams. The screams portray anger and fore coming storms of fear. The screams a warning like thunder before a big storm.

Count the screams like thunder, 1...2...3.... before there are lighting strikes. As there are thuds on the door and the lights flash, I curl up and bury my face into my arms. I begin to sing “ Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...” The lyrics flow from my quivering lips freely like blood from a newly cut wound unforced, just oozing. I begin to rock , imagining myself back in my kingdom of safety. I am in a brown twine rocking chair facing the fields of another place. The smell of nature invades my senses, freshly cut grass, mixed with dirt and crops. I imagine tasting my grandmothers fresh cooked apple pie, the sweetness sliding over my taste buds to my throat in a sensation almost unexplainable. The invigorating taste of cooked apples and cinnamon make me blush. Such a beautiful day in my kingdom of safety...Before long though I am brought back to the harsh reality I am in a bathroom , one that is not my own, but that to me resembles a stout safety.

The thuds slow, and eventually stop, as I hear retreating footsteps. It is only myself and I here in this physiological world I have imagined so intently. I will be in a stage of safety until a savior knocks at the door symbolizing my escape. I listen, waiting, counting the tiles of safety, the specks of the ocean and smelling the fields far away. When finally I hear the knocks of safety in the living room, I wait until I hear my mothers voice booming from the living room, and I rush out of the safety net of my kingdom into the safety of my mothers arms. As the words “amazing grace” flow through my brain and I walk out into the rays of sun warming my tear streaked face clinging to my second safe place.