Fear is a state of mind rather than an emotion as I believe. I feared dying and guns when I was younger. But my experience helped realized that either way you can’t escape it. Living in Newark, NJ exposed me to the negativity in the world. It prepared me for the real world.

I didn’t know that the city I lived in was the worst in the state of New Jersey. At age 4, I had my first encounter with death. Playing in the backyard of my apartment building called Pennington, like a regular normal day. Until a young girl in her early twenties by the name Sonya was hit by a motorcycle and thrown down a flight of stairs and into the basement door. She was killed instantly. Another was between two gangs called Bloods and Crips. During the afternoon someone from one of these gangs started shooting while little kids like myself at the time was outside. All of a sudden more guns were being fired and people were running. I ran towards the gate that leads the way out of the yard and to the main entrance. I stopped and seen a black male wearing a white shirt and holding a black object- a gun. I’d turned back towards the yard where I played everyday after school. When I tripped over the sandbox was when sirens were heard. About 5-6 black cars appeared on the sidewalk. People got out with guns and uniforms. That’s when I knew I was saved.

Being afraid is the body’s way of saying it’s nervous. I feared dying and guns. But because I was exposed to it so young, I’d learned how to overcome and live with my fear. Living in Newark showed me that there are good in the world and that there are bad. So being around both can show you how they can co-exist and live with each other.