blissful, painful, REALITY!? | Teen Ink

blissful, painful, REALITY!?

March 16, 2014
By Anonymous

When I see this place, and the people I share this world with, I see an exodus of people playing prisoner to their versions of reality. In this place, reality bares its head and shines brightly above us, but to some, this light can hurt. Reality is the bane of their existence; they revolt in the presence of life and cower in the shadows. Some take to their own bargains, prying and haggling for poisons to distort their lives, their reality, and in exchange they kill themselves slowly, only to one day find themselves half dead tumbling into a pit of despair. Some find a permanent escape. Some build a shelter of bodies shielding themselves in the shadows of those they once called “friend”.

And yet I stand here with the light seeping into my soul, in this place, and I watch them cower subtly and cry quietly. I stand, and I think, as the blinding rays of truth seep tense thoughts into my mind; “Money, Morals, the Future, Purpose” as passes the minds of all who bask in this light. I begin to feel my mind and soul ache in the light needing relief. But I work through the pain of this blinding light, this, immense truth that is my TRUE reality, because this is the world I was born to.

And when I’m in this place, I fear not death, no I fear something far more strange and powerful, and I silently cower in the immense shadow cast by life. Then I think to myself; I have sought the truth for so long, and here it is, my future unfolding before me, the truth unveiled, and it draws blood from my soul. I want to accept all of reality, for all of its warmth, and all of its pain. I want to stay vigilant, I will work towards my future as it is, and I wish to feel the pain of the present… just to know I’m alive! I care not if I am plagued with misery now, so long as I can create a future that I want to live in. I may cry lakes of tears, I may sweat rivers from my brow, and I may bleed oceans from my body and mind! But MY tears, MY sweat, MY blood, and all of my pain will become the foundation of a glorious future. It will be the beginning of all of greatness, and the means I will find in all of my ends. In this moment in this place only my pain will beget my happiness, so long as I don’t succumb to despair, so long as I do not run from my misery! In this moment I solemnly swear not to surrender to sleep only to awaken to a ruined world, where I too am only half alive, and my name has corroded to dust. To do so would be to fall at the hand at my own arrogance!

I will overcome my urge to escape; I will restrain the overwhelming desire to hide from the truth I have begotten. For the truth are bliss and pain, reward and punishment. It is the whip that strikes at my heels and pushes towards a destiny of my own design. To see this world in this place as it was, is, and always will be. To know my life is right and true, constructed on the bones of my struggle, and towering over the heaven, aimed to the true place of God, so that I may see him in his rightful throne and so that he may see me in mine, my mind and soul will be free as pain absorbs into muscle memory, and I sink into a pleasant blissful sleep, I will laugh, I will sigh, my struggle and frustration will dissipate from my flesh, and I will smile, I will have achieve a perpetual bliss, alive in both halves, body and mind, all without tainting my soul with poison, and I will cry tears of joy, for there I will rest, totally enlightened, and completely, at peace.


The author's comments:
First of all, I’d recommended reading this piece as you would out loud. Second I’d like to start by saying that this piece is the most insightful “poem” I’ve written in a while, I know it has no rhyme scheme but the flow in the words are there and they’re so powerful that I got choked up writing this. When you break it down to its essence I symbolizes our lives and situations around the years of being in high school, it represents how stressful, and terrifying it is to know that everything you do in those short four years will effect until the day you draw your last breath, not to mention things like taxes, college, mortgages, adulthood are right around the corner and are closing in fast! These are the reasons that some people get into drugs and alcohol, as subtly mentioned in the “poem”. Some other things trigger things like this, like self-esteem issues, bullying, all things I also touched on in this piece. But if we choose to persevere, if choose to work not despite the pain but because of the pain, then we can use our struggle now to amount to greatness! To choose a reality that is painful but real, we can choose a future that we have only seen in our dreams! The other option is to fool yourself with drugs and hallucinogens and escape the stress in a fake reality only to wake up to a real one where you have achieved anything and no one has a reason to remember your name. the decision was easy for me and I’d like to know your opinion, please comment!

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on Mar. 24 2014 at 3:21 pm
ansem_unlimited PLATINUM, Frederick, Maryland
33 articles 0 photos 140 comments

Favorite Quote:
Thou may think of me as desired, to idolize or villanize me whichever you may choose. but gaze upon me and thou sall not see the husk of a man! for all my sins and all my bliss, i am anything but hollow <br /> -Ansem_Unlimited

I wrote this but it is marked as anonymous for some reason... whoops!