“Babciu boje sie troche.”, I said to my grandma.
“Nie boj sie. Wszystko bedzie dobrze. Mama bedzie z wami caly czas. Bede za wami tesknic ale wiedz ze zawsze bede tutaj dla was jak bedziecie mnie potrzebowac. Niezapomnij polskiego, bo twoj jezyk jest twoja osobowoscia.”

These were the last words I heard my grandma saying before we left. She told me my language is my identity and I should never forget it. If I did not know that my language was my identity, I would not be the same as I am now. I am unique because I am from a different country. These words made me think about how important it is to not care what people think about you. I have an accent and I know about a different environment in a different country. I will always speak my language with my family, or friends because if I did not do that, I would be empty inside. Everything that has to do with my language, it reminds me of memories when from when I was little. These were my best memories because I spent them with my family.

I was thirteen years old when I moved to the U.S. I lived with my grandparents in Poland, and my mom was already in the U.S. working. She brought us here so that we could have a better future. In 7th grade I went to the Catholic school, “Our Lady of Port Richmond”. A lot of people said it was a good school. My mom and I thought it would be a great school for me, and they also had an ESL class, but I did not expect some other things to happen.

“Haha look at her. She does not know any English. She is so dumb.”

“I know hahaha. She is so stupid and ugly.”

That was my first day of school. These are the only words I remember coming out from some guys’ mouths. I was really shy and did not know what was going on around me. I did not know their language. I only knew a few words. Everyone used to laugh at me just because I did not know words in their language, or just because I could not pronounce words correctly yet. It was really hard for me to pronounce English words at the beginning. I had to learn how to pronounce “r” because in Polish you roll your “r”, just like in Spanish. After I talked to my teachers, they apologized because they knew they made a mistake, I could see it on their faces.

“We are really sorry. I know we made a mistake by calling you names when we saw you or even after school. We will not do that anymore. I guess.”

It was still confusing that they said “I guess”. This made me think a lot, but I did not care if they talked about me after school. I only cared if they talked about me at school. After school I always went home to do my homework, and learn English. It was hard for me, but I tried my best.

After this experience with students laughing at me I got really shy. I was really closed and I did not want to talk to anyone from school because I thought the same thing would happen. Almost all of the students laughed at me because I did not understand, or could not pronounce English words. I could not understand why they did that. If they were in my place they would not like it. Looking back now, I was a really scared and shy person. I even avoided people, so I do not have to talk to them. Now, I actually feel confident with my language and my accent. Before, if someone would ask me about my accent I stopped talking, because I knew they were listening to it. Now, I feel confident talking in English and having my accent. It actually helps people know more about me. In 8th grade I went to middle school where I started talking more. I did not exactly feel confident, but I opened up more. When I got to my high school I started talking a lot. When I am with my friends , I talk and talk, even I am mixing Polish and English when I talk to my mom in Polish. I keep getting confused with which words are which ones.

A lot of people changed around me. My old friends left and I got to know new people. I changed too. I am not as shy as I was three years ago. Now, I am confident about myself because of what I went through. I do not care what people think about me. If I worried, then I would just be depressed. People should be themselves and not care about what others think. Everyone is different, and that’s what matters, because if we were the same, our world would be boring.

My first day in high school was different for me. I was really nervous because I did not know anyone besides one friend from my old school. I knew people would realize that I was not  from here. I did not want to go through the same thing again. When I met my friends they realized it.

“ You have an accent? Wow, that’s so cool!”

I did not expect people to think and say they liked my accent. I thought they would say I sounded weird. They accepted me, unlike others at my old school. My friends were surprised that I was from a different country, and thought that it was really awesome. They wanted to know everything about me and how Poland looks. I felt really good because people accepted me the way I was. They did not make me change myself, or be the same as them. They wanted me to share with them my stories from when I was in Poland. I also got to know them better too. I realized there were a lot more people from different countries at my school. I did not feel left out. This school helped open up and to be a more confident person.

This quote is from a book called “How to Tame a Wild Tongue.” by Glona Anzaldin. “So if you want to hurt me, talk badly about my language. Ethnic identity is twin skin to linguistic identity- I am my language.” This quotes refers to my life too. I really do not like when people talk about my language, or my country in a bad way. It hurts me inside. The person that wrote this essay wrote a little bit about my life. My story is really similar to this quote. Also, there is this book called “Girl in Translation”. It is about a girl that is from Hong Kong. She also came to the U.S. without knowing the language. It kind of reminds me of my story.

If I could compare my school now to three years ago it would be completely different. Three years ago I felt really scared about it. Almost no language, and no friends in the U.S. If I had my friends with me it would be different, but I did not have them. All of them stayed and lived in Poland. I only had my sister and my mom. They were my closest friends here. Now, I feel like I am a new person. I know English and I can communicate with people. I have a lot of new friends that I can trust. My family helps me whenever they can. My feelings changed about it, because I do not care what people think about me. I know that even though they think I am stupid, I am not. I worked really hard to have everything that I have now. New friends, a new language, and a new environment. These were a really hard three years, but right now I am really happy I live with my family.