Deep breath in, deep breath out. I will miss it all, to serve my country. Deep breath in, deep breath out. She can’t be leaving us, leaving me. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I don’t understand why she has to leave though. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Four girls linked by deep bonds of sisterhood began walking completely out of step on the beat down tile towards their good bye. The constant clicking of suitcases danced in and out of their ears. Flowing peacefully, it distracted their hearts from the oncoming moment. An announcement for Flight 298 interrupted the amusing sound and their ears simultaneously focused in, as if it would keep their soldier with them even for a moment longer. Months of anticipation led to this sunny, slightly cloudy, Arizona day. The sun rose and peeked through the dissolving clouds pouring onto its children and leaving them with hope. It would have been a beautiful day, but not today.

The pleading for her sister remained only inside her head. She can’t be leaving me, leaving us. Her sandals stomped forward, in protest to turn around. She had been so proud. Contemplating if this is how she still felt, she directed her eyes to wander to distract her racing mind. Her future growing heavier and heavier on her young shoulders as she faced the inevitable fate. She told herself she wouldn’t cry, for this is surely not the place or time. But her previous instructions were forgotten faster than her sister would soon fade into the sky. If only it were any other day she would have remembered, but just not today.

Four sets of stumbling feet clung to the idea of “see you later” as if it were their faith; a faith that grows and prospers as time goes on. With each second passing faster than the next, the girls wrestled with time as it laughed from its pedestal. Each one slowly realizing, nothing more could have been done to prepare for this. It is the kind of moment that can only be felt, not anticipated. Their whispers screaming to be heard, it’s only the beginning. The decision was made months ago, and it was hers to make. I must leave girls, I can’t stay, not today.

She’s ready to go out and live the dream that she had so long ago. There has always been four, three seemed far too unfamiliar. She’ll leave, and year after year the distance will continue to grow. She promised to stay close and always be in contact, but those promises cannot be held accountable. Anger slipped from its hiding place deep within and began to show on her face. How could she not be angry? Pleading with God, her fists transformed from pink to white closing in on themselves. Maybe I’ll be happy about this someday, but not today.

Their walk started to slow and soon came to a stop. Four sets of feet each wobbling from one anxious foot to another, as if it would make the hands upon the clock move just a little slower. Each wiggling their fingers with anticipation to avoid the tears that were slowly creeping up behind their pupils. Wasting precious, limited time was all their racing minds could tell their torn bodies to do. The dirty, old tile was no less comforting than it had been to their feet five minutes prior, regardless they stood their ground unwilling to move from the discomfort it so willingly provided. No amount of discomfort was greater than the pain anchoring their aching hearts. You have everything? Yeah, I think I do. Not even small talk could tame this moment, at least not today.

The seven year-old sister was given the news not long ago, in hopes that it would confuse her less. Your big sister is leaving, leaving to go learn how to be a soldier. The exhaustion shown on her face from the early morning made her eyes delayed. The size-two shoes spun in circles pretending to enjoy the unfamiliar place. It’s like hide and seek they said, but she is going to be hiding for a while. Her short seven years of life have never been lived without three older sisters, but two would have to become familiar. Her clueless thoughts on a continuous loop inside her head. I don’t understand why she has to leave, I just don’t. Maybe when I am older I will, but I guess not today.

A single tear fell from each of their shining faces, as they tried to hide their exposed emotion. Tears fell and clouded each of their memories; they didn’t want to remember this anyway. Each tear that fell, was yet another moment of silence. Their helpless minds desperately searched for some combination of words they could string together and throw out of their mouths to make this better. No words were spoken but rather a hug was generously provided by the soldier herself. Their arms clinging to her as if she were glue holding them together, and without her, they would fall apart. People passed, the clicking continued, and flight 299 was “now boarding”. Their embrace took the place of the words that could have been said, it meant more in this moment. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I have to go now. Please don’t, not today.

The soldier’s thoughts pounded against her skull as she boarded the plane. They screamed louder as each moment passed. Discretely, she worried that the disinterested passenger may hear her shameful second thoughts. I will miss my little sisters leaving for school each morning. I will miss the concerts, track meets, and soccer games. I will miss the birthdays. I will miss the miss the arguments. I will miss the compromises. I will miss the family dinners. I will miss the bad days, and worst of all, I will miss the good days. I will miss when one of their hearts breaks, and I will miss our father threatening the immature boy. I will miss celebrating the successes. I will miss their childhood days, middle school days, and high school days. I will miss it all, to serve my country. It made sense before and it will after, just not today.
Three sets of feet stood helpless as the plane gravitated towards the clouds. Their screaming whispers went unheard and now she is gone. Gone like all their chances to bring her back. The slow walking naturally began to pick up speed as each one realized they needed to leave. Get out of the place that has more interest in flight 300 being on time. Three sets of feet left the airport crippled due to the recent amputation. The suitcases were still clicking, the tile was still dirty, and flight 301 was now delayed. Nothing had changed, but everything was different. Desperately their hearts pleaded to see their distant soldier, but they couldn’t, not today.