Our friendship began freshman year--well, technically before that, because we met during the English proficiency exams. I had no one else to sit by, and since I knew you went to the same school as a few of my friends, I decided to sit by you. I thought you were really nice and funny.

That summer we had summer school together and we became friends. Our friendship continued to develop throughout the year, as we had many classes with each other. We did everything together. We went over to each others houses. We bonded over Kingsley and Castle. We texted for hours each day. We were the best of friends.

I could tell you anything and everything. You were the only one I told about losing my virginity. You were the only one who knew about my drama with my family and other friends. For a while, you were the only person I could trust.

Then September of 2012 came along. Junior year started out normally, but then something happened. You and this other girl, who we'll call Anna, really hit it off. You became best friends instantly. Soon enough, I became invisible. Sure, we were as normal as ever when it was just us two, but as soon as Anna walked into the room, I was all alone. You and Anna would hang out on the weekends, sometimes by yourselves, other times with my other friends. Sometimes I was invited, other times I wasn't. I stayed silent throughout this. I felt like an intruder.

Summer 2013 moved quickly. It wasn't so bad. I tried becoming friends with Anna, and we all had some nice times. But then came senior year. I don't know what happened. You, Anna, and your two other friends decided that this year you would become popular. You hung out without me. One of your friends made out with a guy she had JUST met. The other friend threw a party, and you got drunk. Remember freshman year when you said you hated when kids our age drank? Remember when you said you'd never drink in high school?

You guys continued to hang out without me. In fact, I'm pretty sure Anna hates me, and I don't know why. On Kairos, I told you how left out I felt, and you apologized. I was hoping that you would make more of an effort now that you knew how I felt. But you've made less of an effort than before.

We were best friends, Kristen. We hung out almost every weekend. I drove you everywhere. When you had surgery on your ACL, I bought your favorite cupcakes (4 to be precise) and brought them over to your house. When your grandpa died, I made a Youtube playlist of funny videos to cheer you up. I planned your surprise 16th birthday party. How could you throw away our friendship--three years of it--for your "popularity?" How could you?

I've spent days crying over you. I've given you multiple chances. I've told you how I've felt. And you still choose to ignore me.

Just last week, I had the scariest mental breakdown. While you weren't the reason for it, I'd be lying if I said you didn't contribute to it. I actually considered harming myself that night. The next day at school, I was visibly disturbed by what happened. I had 11 people--including two teachers--come up and ask me what was wrong and offer their support. But you didn't. You used to be the first to recognize when something was wrong. But this time, you didn't say a word. You didn't give two craps about me. I'm wondering if you ever did.

Several people have told me not to care and to just move on and forget about you. They've been telling me this for months. I never listened because I'm not one to not care about someone, especially you. Kristen, we were BEST friends. Of course I cared about you. How can I just simply forget the past three years? I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid that's what I'm going to have to do. I have been thinking and caring too much about you. Like I said, I've cried over you, I've cried too many times over our friendship. It's dictating my life. Some days I don't even want to go to school because it means having to see you be with Anna. It shouldn't be affecting me this much, but it is, because I cared.

Well, I'm done. I don't care about you anymore. I'm giving up on you. The last three years were great, Kristen, I won't deny that. It was a good three years being best friends. I won't forget quoting Kingsley with you, or complaining about how hard American Lit was, or having all those deep conversations. From now on, you'll just be a distant memory and not a reality. I'm sorry that it can't be a reality, but apparently and rather unfortunately, we both want different things.

So I hope you and Anna have a nice friendship. I hope that Anna never finds someone else and ditches you, because I know how much it sucks. I wish you the best, Kristen, but this is good-bye.

Sincerely,
Me