Throughout my life, I’ve always felt alone. I really wasn’t, with my sister and parents always around. But I never really had any good friends that lasted. Most of them grew up and became the bullies I dreaded seeing. It was this betrayal that caused me to isolate myself from my surroundings. I soon learned to fake a smile, faking my emotions in almost all scenarios. Eventually, I became a fake me. Even though I had friends, I still felt alone. I felt like an extra in a movie where everyone else was a main character. It hurt to be this alone.

I’d contemplated suicide for the longest time, and during my senior year I had a plan all set to go. It would have been easy and painless. But, I had spoken to my parents and had been seeing a therapist, and he suggested a teen program to help. My parents and I decided to try it, and for 4 weeks I spent each day in a psychiatric hospital for my depression and anxiety. At this program, I was new and physically alone for the first time in my life. There was no one I knew, and I’d always been shy. I was naked in front of a bunch of kids that I did not know nor did I want to know.

Eventually, I got to know the kids, and found out a lot of them were like me. Fake to their friends but real in front of the doctors. We got to know each other, and soon I became friends with a lot of the ppeoplethere. Then, after a few days, I received a few texts from ppeopleI didn’t really consider close friends. They wondered where I was, and if I was okay. It was at this moment that I realized that I wasn’t alone. I had ppeoplewho cared about me and actually liked me. The friends at school and my friends at the hospital are the most important ppeoplein the world to me next to my family. After leaving the hospital, I opened up to people, and stopped being fake. I acted more like me, and it turns out ppeopleactually do like me.

I believe in the friendship that I have, with everyone who is important to me. Without them, I probably wouldn’t be here right now.