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I Don't Remember Why I Did That
I probably shouldn't have done that. Or that. Or that either. Looking back at my already extensive list of ex's I wonder what in the hell ever got into me to make some of those decisions. I really don't understand why I did some of those things.
Now here comes the part where I drone on and on about why one particular ex was an especially terrible regret, but no. I can honestly say that I don't regret a single thing that I have done when it comes to love (or other matters of the heart or body). Everything that has happened to me in my past has helped me define myself in some way. They all prepared me for what was soon to come.
I fell in love for the first time when I was fifteen. It was that crazy, head spinning, summer love. He was much older than me and it was bound to break rather quickly. I knew that. We both did, so we didn't make something out of it. He kept his ball cap and I kept my virginity.
Until the next time I fell in love I tried to mend my heart with sex. I thought the amazing numbing quality of it was beautiful. Just two bodies that need each other. I never put much meaning into it.
I wish I would've waited. I do, but I don't regret it. I love that I learned quickly that sex and love are not one and the same. I learned that the difference is so remarkable it is worth ever minute of waiting. Learn from me, so you don't have to do it on your own. Wait, but if you don't; never regret.
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