Roller Coaster Life | Teen Ink

Roller Coaster Life

April 19, 2013
By Anonymous

You have reached the top. There is only one second that you are there, but that one second seems like a lifetime. Your life flashes before your eyes. There are the good things, and the bad. The things that were your fault, and the things that weren't. You know the loops are coming, the hills like a small break you get from the craziness, and you fall down. Then, you stop. This roller coaster is like my life. There is no brakes to stop you from flying to the next loop.

In my life, I see that the what my mother has gone through has majorly influenced my life. I have been with her to see her decisions and her actions, and even though they aren't always good, I see what I can do to not have to go through those situations. Her actions show me the right paths I need to take. She is one of the most influential people in my life.

I was young when I remember first seeing my father beat my mom. He had gone out, got sloppy drunk, and came home to my mom, my sister, and me. I was young so I couldn't do much to help her, even though I wanted to so badly. That was the loop that prepared me for everything else.

Things were calm for a while after that. We were happy, or so it seemed, like when you are at the top of a new hill. I listened one night in the corner to my mom and dad fighting. She came out screaming, with a bruised arm. I walked up to her and gave her a hug, trying to help her, but I couldn't.

We all packed up and moved back to North Carolina. My dad stayed sober, and my mom was bruise free. Later, I found out that my mom was on drugs. It was hard, and all I could think was “I will never grow up and be like her.” I stayed in a bubble at home from then on, until January of 2012.

I had been away at a friends house for 2 weeks. My grandmother called me. “You are coming to my house. I will explain things later.” It was time for a new chain pulling me to another huge hill. I got there and she told me how my mom had lost the house, and was staying in a car during that 2 weeks. My grandmother had taken temporary custody. When I found this out, I cried for a long time. I knew it was for the best, but I loved my mom.

Now, my mom isn't close to me, but is still close to my heart. I don't tell her things anymore, and she doesn't know my life. She still has had an impact on my life, even though she doesn't appear in it.

This roller coaster, is like my life. It has breaks, hills, and lots of falls and loops. Now I look back and I see that who I will be, is owed to my mother. She taught me important lessons through her hardships. She taught me to be careful who I trust, the harmful effects of drugs, and much more. Because of her, I see that every decision I make will have consequences or rewards. I think about my future and know that I don't want my kids to go through what I have been through and I will never be the people my mom was. And my roller coaster isn't over. It is still moving and will move on for a while longer before the brakes on this stop.



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