The arm is extended. I search after the heartbeats with two of my fingers. The sweat slowly begins to come and the heartbeats goes faster and faster.I slowly reach over the bench with shaking fingers to take the knife. I take it and slowly brings it to me. The sweat runs more and more, the heart is now beating really fast. The sharp silver blade moves slowly down the arm and artery. It´s time. The sweat flows like a river and my heart can`t beat any faster. The blade is on my arm. I start to think about my family, those who helped me when I needed help and those who brought me to this life. My friends, those who have been there for me all the time and always support me. What would they say? I pull the knife slowly over my arm to see if it is in the right position. I take a deep breath. All of them would think I was a coward. I would betray every single one! I´m shaking, I don`t know what to do. I can feel a tear come from my eye, my hand slowly release the knife. Slowly it falling to the floor. It bounces once, twice, three times before it ends up next to my right foot. I feel the pain, but there is no blood, the pain comes from inside. I sit down and can`t resist the tears, it`s like a big waterfall. After a few minutes I slowly rise up with the knife in my hand, look at it one last time. Then put it back on the bench.
Although you maybe feel down sometimes, you have to know that you are not alone! There is always someone who cares about you. You maybe not know who it is, but you have to know you are not alone!