When I was little, unhappiness was foreign to me. For every minute of my life, I would be running, jumping, skipping, laughing. Always laughing. Laughing at the littlest things, giggling at the slightest pleasure. Life was adventure. Adventure being playing “don’t-touch-the-hot-lava” and making sand gardens. Adventure being finding slimy worms under rocks and chasing after lizards in the backyard. Adventure being dressing up in princess gowns and asking my mother: “do I look fancy?” I wouldn’t waste a minute of my life.

All those years, I didn’t have a care in the world. All those years, I was happy. It’s funny how fast things can change.

When I was nine, I was diagnosed with juvenile fibromyalgia. I would feel tired often, and muscle pains occurred regularly. I didn’t run much anymore. I didn’t laugh much anymore. From then on, I got through life instead of actually living it. Besides physical pain, I was hardly aware of much change in my life. Everybody noticed how differently I was acting except me. Other kids would ask me “why don’t you smile?” or “why don’t you laugh?” I never had an answer. People thought I was boring just because I was serious. But in a way, I guess I was. My friends, who laughed often, and ran often, began to drift away. I guess I turned invisible. They would talk to each other, but not to me. Maybe they thought I wouldn’t listen. Maybe they thought I wouldn’t care. But pretty soon, my friends were gone.

It wasn’t like I tried to be miserable. To be honest, I didn’t even notice that I was. But one day, my mom said: “you used to be so happy, what happened?” And it finally occurred to me: I was unhappy.

From then on, I tried to start anew. There was one girl who was in my class a couple years ago, who was quiet, but had a couple friends. I started to talk to her and hang out with her. Soon enough, we became very good friends. This was the first bit of happiness I’d had for a long time. I started to laugh again.

For the first time, I wasn’t enduring. I was fighting.

Today, I still have fibromyalgia. Lately, I’ve had a lot more pain than usual. But I am fighting it. I will always fight it. And I will always laugh.