Sitting across from an elderly lady at the doctors office, awkwardly making eye contact and occasionally smiling at each other, she finally decided to say something to me. “You have the most beautiful red hair.” I do belong to that classification has a redhead. I am a redhead. And yes, I am proud to be a redhead.

I want to be a redhead so random people will compliment me all the time, making my self-esteem and confidence higher. I want to be a redhead whose hair-dresser tells me never to do anything to my hair, because people pay a lot of money to make it this color. I want to be a redhead so I stand out compared to others. When everyone looks in my direction, they will instantly see me and my red hair before they notice anyone else. I want to be a redhead so people will stereotype me as wise and intelligent. Those people will actually believe those stereotypes and think that I always am right since I am so intelligent. People will come to me with their problems so I can find the answers to whatever they need.

I want to be a redhead so I have to apply SPF 70 when the sun is out on a fall afternoon. I only apply that much so my skin does not correspond my hair. I want to be a redhead so people can be amused as they try to count as many freckles on my body as they can. As long as others have having fun, I guess I am having fun too. I want to be a redhead so people will believe I have a fiery temper, so they will try to get me burning. They will argue with me about everything and anything because they know I won’t back down to a debate. I want to be a redhead so I can always be single. That way, I will never have to worry about a boy catching on fire when I lean my head on his shoulder. I want to be a redhead so I will never have any plans on a Saturday night, even though all my “friends” are out together. I want to be a redhead so when I ask if anyone else is feeling warm, they will tell me it’s only because I have a “fire” on my head.

I want to be a redhead so when people’s hands are cold, they can put their hands near my hair to warm them up. That way, people are always happy and warm because of the “fire” on my head. I want to be a redhead so people will randomly yell at me to stop, drop, and roll. I want to be a redhead so people make me lead the way, only because I make a great light source to see what is ahead. I want to be a redhead so people can make “ginger” jokes about me and continue to laugh with me, but not at me. I want to be a redhead so people can point at me while saying “she has no soul.” At least I’ll be getting the attention I wanted.

My god, who wouldn’t want to be a redhead?