Have you ever had anybody in your family commit suicide? Or, have you ever been beaten to the point where you couldn’t even move? Or, forced to watch your father get beat? Well, I have. In order for me to tell you about my family, I think it is important that you know these upsetting things, 1. My older sister Shannon committed suicide, 2. I was beat by my stepmother, and 3, some of my attempts.

My older sister Shannon committed suicide about a year or two ago. I came home to find her hanging on the staircase, with a typed letter below her, saying why she did this to herself. She said that things have just been getting to bad, she has been beaten on by her stepfather, she has been in and out of mental hospitals for suicide attempts, such as cutting and taking pills. She also explained how, if she was to stay alive, it would only make everything worse. She couldn’t talk to people because she was afraid of how they would react. I think all’s she would have had to do is come and talk to me, or anybody else in our family. Between all my family and I, I think my sister and I were the closest. I miss her so much, but I have to learn to except that what’s done is done. There is no turning back.

My dad remarried this woman named Wendy, shortly after him and my mom divorced. I always had an idea that she was abusive, just not as abusive as she was. She would hit, kick, punch, slap, choke, and she’d even put soap in my eyes, she made me sit in scalding hot water, she pushed me down very steep stairs, she also made me sleep in the basement. The basement is not a place anybody would ever want to sleep. Because, our old house used to be a funeral home, and in the basement there was certain equipment they used to die sect people. There was also an old freezer, like a freezer that they stored dead bodies in. But, even worse she’d make me sit through really scary movies because she knew how afraid I’d be. Sometimes I’d cry but, that only made everything worse. I had to do all of the house work within a time frame, and if the stuff wasn’t finished she’d threaten me, then throw glass at my face. Then she’d tell me, “Shh, this will be our little secret!” And I was forced to watch her hurt my dad, to me this was worse than actually getting beat! I’d just sit and watch my dad scream, and cry for help. Because, he would never EVER hit a woman in his life NEVER! I tried helping as much as I could but, she wouldn’t let me even touch my dad to help. And, it really hurts. I am now suffering with the fact that she did this. Even worse I have horrible flashbacks, and dreams every night and day of this. My doctor says this may last for the rest of my life.

After this happened, I tried suicide a few times. I’ve cut myself, and all of that, it made my pain and hurt go away, but in a negative way. I didn’t think anybody understood the real me, I’m just a girl looking for love, now when you look at me, you see not only scars from cuts but, a broken heart, a fake smile, a laugh that’s only making me want to cry, and a body that has been beaten on. It’s just really hard to get over most of this stuff. I cry almost everyday. The hurt inside me, makes me scream very loud inside but, nobody hears me.

If this story hurt you in anyway, please speak up; if you’ve ever been beaten I know how you feel, and you’re not alone. If you know of anybody that’s getting beat or harassed by their parents, step parents, aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, babysitters, even parents in that matter, ANYBODY, please speak up and tell. Nobody deserves to go threw any of this. No matter whom they are, or what they’ve done. Being abused sucks because, it can cause so many harmful things to not only them, but to everybody else trying to help them in the path that they’re in. Don’t be afraid to speak up, it’s the right thing to do. It could change their lives forever. I know it did mine.