It was 3rd grade, opening night, and I was huddled with my friends behind the set. The smell of dust, paint, and fresh-cut wood burned my nostrils, and my hands started to sweat as I stepped on stage; the blinding lights shone into my eyes the scene went on and soon enough I looked over at my dad backstage, and he hoisted me into the air, as I yell my line I slowly slide down to the stage feeling like I was the king of the world. 

Ever since I was a kid I have been obsessed with risk. I loved Peter Pan as well, and I wanted to fly, and fight pirates. I wanted to feel the ocean spray on my face as I flew over the crocodiles (I know they aren't in the ocean give me a break I was like 6). This is where my obsession with risk started. When I auditioned for Petter Pan I went for a small role in the ensemble; however, I was given Michael Darling for my first-ever play this induced a lot of stress, and pride among other feelings, but by the end, I was crying because it was over. 

This led to an interest in swordplay, so my mom signed me up for fencing a couple of years later; which I loved, and was good at. My favorite sword was called a saber (pirate-like handle) where you could strike anywhere from the waist up excluding hands as well as the head.  It was a week-long camp and on the last day, there was a show for the parents where there were a couple of battles between students like a show for the 2 kinds of swords we learned about (saber and foil). I was chosen to show off the saber when they told us this I started to stress and my brain started to race but I just put my mask down and go to the ready position I started to think about where my advantages were (taller/shorter faster/slower etc.) we solute the fight begins my opponent advanced twice I retreat twice he swung I parry and in one fowl swoop I advance and swing he parries before he can advance and regain control I advance again and strike him in the mask he pauses I won

After a while, we stopped going (fencing is expensive), and I found a new interest in rock climbing, so my mom enrolled me in classes. One day my friend and I were camping, and we found this spot we wanted to climb, and this happened:

 I leap up the rock; and get ready to scramble across the wet moss after the recent snowstorm, hoping I won't fall into the river below. I force those thoughts out of my head as I scramble across I reach for a stump that looks rotten, but I swear I saw my friend use it just yesterday, it snaps, and I slide down the moss digging my boots into the rock. later my dad says he heard me gasp for my life when it snapped my entire body went numb my heart was racing almost as fast as my brain and that was when I realized that was the feeling I was after when I started climbing in the first place. Sadly, it's not the only time I have been close to falling like that. There was also this one time in Colorado when my family wanted a picture by this waterfall, so I had to climb back from where I had gotten to and I had almost fallen 20- 30 feet into the rocky bottom of the waterfall when I slipped on the wet rocks. All just so I can chase the feeling that adrenaline gives you.

Soon after these incidents, I started to shift my adrenaline junkie habits over towards stuff that gives you the feeling that just doesn’t threaten my life (or injure me that would be good too). Like figure skating, (which can injure me but it’s still fun) theater, and magic tricks these things still give me the feeling of almost falling off a cliff without the risk of doing, so the risk is messing up for example if I come close to messing something up then the thrill of hiding it gives me that feeling.

All of this was just to encourage people (you) to go outside and find out what gives you the feeling of excitement, pride, and that hit of adrenaline. Go out and experiment scrape your knees get mud all over your favorite shirt jump into that cold creek then hike back with wet socks, run barefoot through the woods and scrape your feet up, climb that tree do what you need to do to chase that feeling, and remember that feeling has a name and its called life, so go live it.