August is always a booked and busy month for me. Preparing to go back to school and also trying to enjoy my birthday at the same time. Making last minute plans with relatives I didn’t see the whole summer. Saying “see you later!” to all my senior friends that are now college freshmen. Most importantly the sport that I have a love hate relationship with– dance. We’re always given a week to adjust to our school schedules and classes would start the following Monday. Ballet 6pm- 7:30pm and Modern from 7:30pm-9:00pm. It is the first Monday of the brand new season and you can feel the excitement in the air from the new students and the returning ones like myself. As I quickly tied my hair up into a bun and walked into unit A-12 I’m greeted by the same faces since I was three years old. “Hi Aaliyah! How was your summer?” The quick conversations before rushing into class always mean the world to me. I know in a few months I won’t have these same conversations anymore. I put my bag down in the break room and put on my ballet shoes and walked into Studio A. After our annual June show I was formally recognized as an assistant rehearsal director. My responsibilities vary from being a role model or just being extra encouraging and giving help when needed. This class started off like any other first class of the season, our class expectations and our own personal introductions. Class ended at 7:30 and I thanked my teacher for a great class. At the start of our second class of the day we are instructed to have a seat by Ms. Haynes, owner of the Diva Arts Dance Studio, founded in 1997 she’s created some of the best dancers in the industry. It’s every dancer's dream to make her proud regardless of what they say. In her class conversation, she informed us that we will be heading to competition in a few months. It seems like everyone’s faces lit up but mine. In my past 13 years we’ve attended Starpower, Revolution, Jump competition and soon to be Hype competition in a few months. My problem was not the harsh judging or the intensive rehearsals. My issue was the discrimination we faced being the only black dance studio performing technical pieces. 

  She then went on about how serious this is for us as a company and how it’s a great opportunity to promote our studio. All I could think about is the nasty stares we get when we walk in. She called me up to speak about  the competition experience. “Um, yeah it’s a lot of fun and hard work but also a great bonding experience for us all.” Remember how I mentioned I was supposed to be a role model? I didn’t feel like one because I didn’t tell the whole truth. Starpower competition, my first competition. After many excruciating rehearsals the idea of quitting crossed everyone's minds. In the end it brought us closer together and we felt stronger than ever. We were given the Friday off before competition to rest and prepare because we had an 8 hour day ahead of us. I woke up Saturday morning bright and early. Not by force, just from pure excitement. I brushed back my 3c hair into a bun which took a little longer than usual then, my mom put the sock on my hair to create a perfect bun. I put on my warmups, my warm up booties, and headed out the door. We stopped for breakfast along the way, the drive ahead of us was about roughly thirty minutes. We finally made it. “Are you ready?” My mom couldn’t even finish the question before I responded. I was bursting with excitement. We got out of the car and met up with my teammates and their parents. We all took pictures and had small talk before entering the building. Ms.Haynes thanked us for pushing through and making it to this day. She justified all her shouting in rehearsal by saying she loves us and how she wanted our first competition to go perfectly. We were told to go on stage and have fun and remember all our corrections and don’t focus on the win. Let's be real.. we ALL wanted to take that trophy home. When we walked through the double doors to check in I was a little confused. Nobody there looked like us. 

After registration we were told that we were allowed to be in any dressing room. But, we’re responsible for all of our belongings. One of the workers came with us to show us one of the many rooms to choose from. As we walked past the registration table and down the hallway with doors on both sides, it felt like the hallway just got longer the further we walked along. Other dancers were coming in and out of the rooms. The stares I received made me feel like I was from another planet. I was constantly looking up at my mom and I felt like she knew what was running through my mind. The stares weren’t just from the dancers, it was from their parents and coaches too. I felt my confidence drop instantly, I began to feel out of place and uncomfortable and it’s safe to say my teammates did too. The endless hallway finally came to an end and we found a dressing room. Once the door opened I was instantly overstimulated. I saw dancers crying or yelling at their moms. Coaches commanding their girls to take over the dressing room as their rehearsal space and it felt like I heard every conversation. We found a corner and decided to change there. The stares haven’t stopped yet by the way. We put on our brand new burgundy costumes with a beautiful train, foot thongs, our booties, and our warm up jackets. We left our bags there and prayed everything would be back when we got there. We rushed out of the chaos filled room and took the painfully long trip down the endless hallway. I watched the stares turn into whispers and slight points. Have they never seen a black dance team before?

We headed down to the stage to watch a few performances to get an idea of what we should look like onstage. Some dances were so technically challenging it was somewhat discouraging to watch. Everything about the dances were beautiful. From the baby pink flowy contemporary costumes, the music selection, the storytelling. I sat in the audience in awe. I finally understood why we were told to watch performances. It wasn’t to discourage but to encourage us. I want the audience members to feel the same way I did. 

It was finally time for us to warm up outside the auditorium. We quickly reviewed last minute corrections and simple last minute direction changes. In my first competition solo ever I had to execute a double pirouette turn and of course I wanted to be perfect. I purposely separated myself from the group to quickly go over my counts. As I prepared myself to do my turn I kind of stumbled because of the flooring. Behind me I heard a bunch of giggles, I snapped my head around and saw a group of girls sitting and laughing at me. How long have they been watching me? I knew I was more than capable of executing that turn. I do it all the time! It was just something about that moment that just made me lose focus, I no longer had sight of my end goal or any of my training, I was extremely embarrassed. After watching them watch me I snapped back to reality and joined my teammates by the big glass window overlooking the parking lot. I couldn’t even open my mouth to tell them what just happened. I would hate to throw the energy off right before we perform so, I kept it to myself for the sake of the group. We were instructed to take off any extra clothing and head backstage. All I could think about is how badly I wanted to prove to those girls that I’m just as good as them.

Our time to get all the butterflies out has quickly come to an end. Entry #451 has been called to the stage. I heard my mom from all the way from the back of the auditorium and that was all I needed. I needed to be recognized in a good way. The three minutes we spent on stage felt like no more than 30 seconds. When we walked off the stage we were crying and celebrating. This was our first big thing we accomplished as a team. We decided to see what was in the area to eat since we have to wait 4 hours for the award ceremony to start. We pushed at least four Chick-fil-A chairs together and began telling our personal stories of our experience on stage. 

The four hour wait felt like our time on stage, very VERY short. We all ran up the steps to lead the stage and sat together in a clump. First awards passed out were scoring awards. No matter how you perform, everyone receives a scoring award. In our junior group division we scored platinum. Meaning we had a close to perfect score. We were ecstatic! We thought that was our only award but we had no clue what was coming next. As all the other divisions and placing were announced we clapped and cheered on everyone. It was finally our turn. We were announced first place in our division, received a best choreography award, and the best of Starpower award. As the eldest dancer of the group I went up to get our trophy. What felt different about our award announcement? It felt like nobody clapped, it was basically silent. Well, we heard our parents but that was only 8 out of the 200 people in that room. 

I watched parents go up to the judge to ask for our scoring sheet because according to the dance mom who attends Dance Town, “There has to be some type of mistake!” The win no longer felt like one. We were all sad that this was the reaction we received to our successful competition. It didn’t stop there, we experienced the same treatment at every competition. I wish that no other studio experiences what we did but the truth is that they will. Nobody should feel intimidated or unwelcomed in a space they rightfully belong in.