2005 

September 6th - Sometime around 3 am, I was born in a hospital in downtown Beijing, China. When my dad saw me for the first time, he was ecstatic and extremely anxious. He said he had envisioned the moment a million times, yet he still didn't know what to do. 

2006

January 16th - NASA's New Horizons spacecraft was launched with a mission to explore Pluto and the Kuiper Belt. Little did my dad know then that rockets and engineering would become huge obsessions later in his life.

September 6th - My dad insisted that I sleep in my own crib instead of with my mom, saying that it would help build independence from a young age. 

2007

February 27th - Signs of the global financial crisis began emerging in 2007, triggered by the subprime mortgage crisis in the United States. This crisis ultimately led to a severe worldwide economic downturn in the following years. The crisis did not particularly affect my family, even if my dad worked for a Canadian Bank. He had always been cautious in his investments. This is partially due to his poor rural upbringing; he knew the preciousness of money. Although this meant he never earned huge amounts of money, he also nearly never lost money. This was always the case until sometime when I was in high school.

2008

August 8th - The 2008 Summer Olympics was held in Beijing, China. We watched the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony on TV as a family. I still distantly remember repeatedly singing one of the feature songs, “Welcome to Beijing,” with my dad. He bought a CD.

2009

January 1st - The global economic downturn, stemming from the financial crisis of 2007, persisted in 2009, affecting various industries, causing job losses, and impacting economies worldwide. My family stayed afloat.

September 6th - My mom’s old colleagues at Virgin Atlantic gifted her models of a classic London cab and a London Red bus. I wanted to play with them, but my dad said they were “display only.” As much as I wanted to, I never dared to open the glass panel of the display shelf they were placed in.  

2010

April 3rd - Apple launched the first iPad, revolutionizing the tablet computer market and sparking a new era in mobile computing. My dad bought one at the full retail price of $559. My mom got mad at him for it. Nonetheless, my mom and I had a lot of fun with Fruit Ninja and iTunes for several weekends. 

November 15th - My brother was born, and he was named Andy. 

2011

September 6th - “Harvard.” I had answered my dad’s question of which university I wanted to attend when I grew up. He beamed; He always wanted to attend an Ivy. 

November 15th - Andy continued to sleep next to my mom. 

2012

April 1st - My family moved from Beijing to Shanghai. My dad started working for a Chinese investment company. 

November 15th - The models were removed from the shelves when we moved, and my parents gave them to Andy to play with. They were broken within a few weeks.

2013

September 6th - My dad has always been strict about his rules. One of them is I have to keep my word, no exceptions. It was like lighting a fuse to a bomb if I didn't. That night, when my mom called me for dinner, I answered but didn't actually get up. My dad stormed over, yelled at me, and snapped the TV remote in half. Even now, the broken pieces remain vivid in my mind.

2014

July 13th - Germany beats Argentina 1-0 for the Brazil World Cup finals. I woke my dad up at 3 am to watch it with me. I asked him to watch the next World Cup finals with me as well. He said yes.

September 6th - I was asked to babysit Andy and his friends on a random weekend.

2015

September 6th - My dad spent most of his time on business trips. He made it back on my 10th birthday. He was gone again by the weekend.

2016

September 6th - I won a 3000 RMB, or around 570 SGD, scholarship for being at the top of my grade in academics. My dad decided to transfer me out of the school as he thought money shouldn’t be the motivation for learning, especially for an 11-year-old.

November 6th - Donald Trump wins the election of the US president over Hillary Clinton. My dad began talking to me about politics.

2017

September 6th - I transferred to Shanghai American School for middle school. I tried out for the basketball club that consisted mainly of students from my school; I didn’t get in, and my dad never brought it up. 

December 18th - My dad developed a passion for running. He started participating in several marathons and even 100km off-road races. He would often travel far for these races.

2018

July 15th - France beat Croatia 4-2 to win the World Cup finals. I watched it by myself in my bed. My dad was on a business trip.

September 6th - The basketball club I played for expanded, creating a team for the higher age group. When my dad heard they were missing players, he called me up. He wanted me to “take on a challenge.” Naturally, I barely played. I thought it was natural, as I was a year younger than everyone else. When my dad saw that I was content with being on the bench, he exploded. This is the first time in my memory that he called me a disappointment.

December 25th - My dad got me a workout tire, a weighted basketball, and a personal trainer for my Christmas present. I woke up at 7 am for 5 days every week to train for the entirety of the Christmas break.

2019

February 1st - My dad yelled at me for not buckling my seatbelt. It ended with him saying that my poor manners would reflect on him and make him look like a failed dad.

June 1st - My dad repeatedly invited me to run with him. I was never a runner, so I always said no. 

September 6th - I got called into the principal's office because I called a girl a bitch over text. My mom was brought into the office and shown the text history - my phone was confiscated by the vice principal. My dad never talked about the incident; for all I know, he never knew about it.

December 25th - I spent Christmas with my mom and brother in Melbourne, Australia. My dad was on a business trip. 

2020

February 12th - My dad flared up in the middle of the night, reaching 41 degrees. My mom brought him into the ICU despite him saying it was fine and found out he had meningitis. He was on the brink of death. My parents didn’t tell me that it was more than a normal fever until a year later. 

February 18th - The district in Shanghai I lived in went into local lockdown in response to COVID-19 breakouts

February 20th - My dad assigned me weekly essays as family homework on top of school work since “I have so much free time.”

April 5th - I missed the deadline for my weekly essay to my dad due to gaming. He made me smash my own controller with a hammer, saying it would build discipline. He told me that I would grow up to be a failure if I didn’t know how to keep promises. I threw my controller against the wall and cried until I fell asleep in my room. 

September 6th - On a car ride to my grandparents, my dad asked if I was into dudes.

December 28th - My dad developed a strong liking for Elon Musk and SpaceX. He said I should aim to change the world like Elon does and pursue computer science and AI engineering. 

2021

March 1st - Andy was suspended due to repeatedly tripping a kid at school. My dad told me he didn’t know what to do with him.

June 1st - My science and math grades reflected that I was a poor STEM student.

July 1st - I earned an A in a criminal psychology course with JHU and was shortlisted for a philosophy essay competition.

September 6th - College and grades dominated my limited conversations with my dad. Whenever he wasn’t on a business trip, he scolded me for my grades. “If you have put in as much work as me, you could be pushing Ivy,” he would always say. Coming out of a poor village in northern China, he had no choice but to study. He went into university as one of the top 3 scholars in his municipality. When he completed his bachelor's, he had the chance to pursue a master's in economics at an Ivy. He couldn’t because of money. Instead, he attended Ivey Business School in West Ontario with a full-ride scholarship. I never had bad grades, but never up to his level. In his eyes, I was lazy and wasting my potential.

November 1st - I brought home a girl to meet my parents. My dad had no idea I had a girlfriend until about 3 days before it happened.

December 1st - I learned that most of my peers, unlike me, weren’t scared of meeting others’ dads. 

2022

January 1st - Andy showed average grades. My dad said he’s okay with it as long as Andy’s content with it.

February 28th - Shanghai goes into citywide lockdown due to another COVID-19 outbreak. Patients were sent to quarantine camps.

April 1st - After a conversation about potentially pursuing AI development in the future, I asked my dad why he doesn’t pressure my brother to pursue it instead. “He’s not cut out for it,” he had answered.

May 1st - Me and my dad were sent to a quarantine camp. In there, my dad decided it would be in my best interest if I pursued education outside of China, even if it was by myself and away from my family. I applied to Singapore American School that very day.

June 1st - My parents got into an argument over my academics. My dad called my mom an ignorant woman, and my mom yelled that she would’ve gotten a divorce if it wasn’t for me and Andy. This had not been the first time they argued because of me. I broke down in the middle of the living room when my mom said that, believing I was the source of their conflicts. My dad comforted me, saying my mom didn’t know what she was saying.

July 1st - No matter how many times my dad called me a disappointment, and no matter how many times I tried to ignore his comments, it never hurt any less. After all, he was still my father.

August 1st - I landed in Singapore.

September 6th - My 17th birthday was the first birthday away from my family. I had settled into Singapore already; I’m a pretty fast adapter. On the day I turned 17, my dad sent me the lyrics of the song “Father to Son” by Phil Collins. In his way, he told me that he loves me and will always be behind me. My interactions with my dad were reduced to occasional texts and rare calls, and they always surrounded how I’ve been and what I’ve been up to; grades were rarely brought up. 

October 10th - I fly back to China and visit my family on almost every break. When we were together, my dad and I would resume our talks in those limited interactions.
December 18th - Argentina beat France 4-2 in penalties to win the World Cup Finals. I watched alone in a quarantine hotel in China after I landed, waiting to be released.

December 25th - On my Christmas break, my dad repeatedly emphasized how nice it would be for me to apply and attend Carnegie Mellon Univeristy, a university majorly focusing on computer science and AI development. I told him I wanted to pursue psychology. He said I should pursue psychology there, as I would still be surrounded by an environment full of engineering.

2023

March 1st - My parents brought me aside and had a talk regarding the family’s financial situation. My dad had finally taken the step and made a huge investment. Unfortunately, it was right before the second COVID-19 lockdown, and the money was frozen. Tuition, never before, became an issue in my household. 

July 1st - My only argument with my dad came in a car ride in Shanghai. He had, once again, brought up his wishes for me to pursue computer science and AI development in the future. Carnegie Mellon University remained No.1 on his list. He said even if I took psychology, I should learn AI development as a minor or a side interest. “You’ll learn to like it,” he had said, “I find it fascinating.” He told me he regretted not pursuing the AI path when he was younger and I shouldn’t make the same mistake. The argument ended with me yelling that I’m not him, and if he really wants a son who follow the path he wants, he should impose his will on my brother, as it was not too late with him.

September 6th - Aside from when I’m visiting and physically with my dad, I can’t remember many times when we’ve talked. On my 18th birthday, he passed down his parent's diary during the hard days to me as a heirloom. The diary showed the many hardships that my dad had gone through as a child. He told me he would be proud of me wherever I go and whatever I do. 

September 10th -  My dad mistook another kid for me in a picture from a school trip. 

October 20th - I took my dad to a kebab place I discovered in Shanghai. We haven’t had dinner with just the two of us in a long time. There, he talked about his job status and ambitions for the future, and I listened. In my memory, he had never opened up to me like that before. 

November 25th - My dad traveled to Hong Kong and watched me play in a basketball game for the first time since 9th grade.