So, it’s the first day of the new school year. I have no idea what to expect, but must adapt to my new environment, even though I barely know anybody at this new school. It took me about a week before I realized that I was in the HGM, which was something for highly gifted kids. (who would have thought?) Anyways, these kids are really smart, and I am too, but not to the extent that they are. For one, I noticed that they were taking AP classes. I was too, but I found myself struggling, especially with AP Bio. Everyone in my class seemed to be doing so well, while I wasn’t. I felt like I had to do as well as them if I was to feel good about myself. However, one of the main problems that I had while trying to do this was procrastination. Procrastination, along with not believing in myself, took a huge toll on what I was able to do and how I was able to do it. I believed that I was inferior to all those around me because I could not pass a subject. I still feel like I should blame myself for all the things that I was not able to do in AP Bio. There was also another time that I felt horrible for not joining a club when nearly everybody had done so, so I decided to join one, which solved that problem. But I still felt this sense of inferiority to not just my classmates, but normal people as well. They seemed perfect. I don’t even know what I’m feeling as I am typing this.

Luckily it has gotten better over the past couple of months, but that feeling still lingers around in this minimized form, and I’ve started to realize that it’s essentially okay to not be perfect and make mistakes sometimes, something which was unthinkable six months ago.