Oh my gosh, he didn’t answer me fast enough. What? Did he tell me he was going to workout? Well yea, I guess but it's been almost two hours. He definitely would have responded to me by now if he still liked me. He works out for two hours everyday? Well…yea, but, I don’t know. Today it just feels different. Am I freaking out over something that I do too? Well sure, but when I do it I have a reason. He has a reason too? Well yea, I see your point. Maybe I’m just exaggerating things. 

And what about this outfit today? I really do not like it. This shirt does not match with these pants. I think I’m just going to ask Vivian and Lily for their opinions. Oh no. They said it doesn’t match. Everyone’s going to be staring at me and thinking I look weird. What? Of course I don’t see other people’s outfits and think they look weird. Well, I see your point. I guess no one will look at me that way either. But…what about…no, I’m not going to think like this. I tell Elena and Lily and Vivian and everyone else that what they wear and look like doesn’t matter. So it shouldn’t matter for me, right? But… I’m not going to be able to stop thinking about it all day. 

And also, I really do not want to workout today. I’m super tired and my back is killing me. But if I don’t work out I’m going to downslide. I’m going to be such an awful rower when I get to college. Do I know rest is important? Well yes, but I rest on Sundays. Why do I work out 2 times a day? I don’t know, because my dad told me to? Well, no. I just can’t stop myself from doing it, I guess. I know, I know, if I don’t work out one day after school I’m not going to fail. But…all of those days when I don’t work out add up. Well, I guess if I work out while I’m tired it won’t have any benefit anyways. Maybe I’ll just decide when I get home from school. It is only 9am after all. 

Why do I overthink everything? I don’t overthink everything. Well, maybe I do. I do think about things obsessively at times. And I do tell everyone how to control their anxiety. So why can’t I control mine? Why can’t I just stop my mind from taking me to these places? Well, I guess I need to get better at practicing what I preach. Oh no…I’m a hypocrite now.