Everyone starts off as a seed. Whether that means a big seed or a small seed, we all start off as one. Some are planted into rich fertile soil, who are looked upon, and cared for until they are able to grow and function on their own. Others are planted in manure, or leftover soil from a while back, and are forgotten to be watered, and placed not in direct sunlight for proper growth. During this process, some start to wilt earlier than others. You could say I was one who started wilting way beyond the point I was supposed to. Day by day I would be plucking out my pedals, and hoping I was on my last pedal. I just couldn’t pull that last pedal off, as I looked around and saw all of the other flowers around me. My roots are connected to theirs, so if I were to pull mine, I would slowly drag them all down with me. Now, is there a way to revive a wilting flower? Of course, but it takes time. So. Much. Time. And a whole lot of work. But in the end, you could say it was worth it. You could save the rest of that flower's life, and let it be able to bloom, and grow again. Showing off its beautiful vibrant colors. That’s where I’m at. I’m trying to rebloom again. But that is such a long process. A couple weeks ago I was diagnosed with severe depression. It takes so long to recover from that, especially if you are in the completely wrong mindset. But I am on the right track. I am trying to rebloom again, because I realized that there is a lot out in the world that is calling me. I can feel it. I am meant to stay. I am meant to still be here to experience and grow and challenge myself. I am here to do great things, and if I end it all, my calling will be gone. The world needs me. I have great things ahead of me, and I can tell that I am supposed to stay. But the question for myself is, what if I fall off the wagon again. Will I have prepared myself enough to handle more. Will I have encouraged and motivated myself to know how to handle what else could come my way. I am sure as hell hoping so. Because as much as the other flowers around me don’t want me to wilt and die, I want the same for myself. I want to grow again. I want a new beginning. A new life. Which I believe starts after high school. Which is still 2 years away. It seems so far. But I know I can make it. With all of the help and support I am receiving, I know I can make it. Although, some flowers in the same garden as me I feel like are pulling me down with them. I feel like I am being wilted because they are taking all of my sunlight. They are towing over me, and holding me back from the growth I am desiring to accomplish. How do I grow when I have no sunlight. When I am rooted in the ground, and can’t move where I am? Do I ask someone to move me? Or do I try to accomplish it on my own? I don’t know how to grow when I am being held back by my so-called “friends”. I do know that growth for me is necessary. I am constantly changing, and it is certainly not healthy for me to stay put where I am at. I need to flow where the wind takes me. Pick my feet up and move on. Because where I am at is not healthy. I know I, myself, am healthy, or on the road to being healthy, but the place where I am at, my environment is not.