I have always been curious about my AP Psychology teacher. Compared to a teacher, his behavior in class resembled that of a six-year-old boy eager to show you that he had received more birthday presents. Suddenly heightened voices, dramatic gestures, and startling reactions... are typically dubbed “normal.” And for this reason, every time I attend this class, my main focus is on observing his every move rather than studying for the test.
 
Interestingly, he seemed to sense my gaze studying him in the corner yesterday. I know it sounds a bit weird to describe it this way, but my eyes were indeed fixed on him the whole time.
 
After class, as usual, he dragged his slightly inward-looking stride out of class and grabbed his outdated 2000s Macbook, ready to pick up his daughter, Grace, for lunch. And unlike usual, he walked to the door and came to a halt.
 
He glanced at me a bit hesitantly as if he wasn’t sure what brought him to my place.
 
“I acted weird. Wasn’t I?”
 
“Kind of... you didn’t seem like teaching anyway.”
 
“I know.”
 
“It’s okay; I kinda like it.”
 
I wasn’t lying. I did enjoy the unusualness.
 
“Sorry if that bothered. I just wanted everyone to pay attention.”
 
I felt sad.
 
He had been at this school for seven or eight years, and it was not easy for a foreigner in China to stick with his passion for education until now. And now, it takes this kind of claptrap to get students to respect the classroom and their love for it. In my conversation with him, I also learned that the departure of quality foreign teachers in the past two years is not only due to salary problems. The traditional education system has slowly pushed out teachers who love education. But, why?
 
Because we don’t know how to judge a student’s academic ability and personality with dyed hair and makeup, we don’t see why we need language scores and GPA to examine a student’s future. The English intense program (EIP), which is supposed to help kids who want to experience international education but don’t have enough language skills to pursue their dreams, has become a gathering place for students with “behavioral problems” to be criticized by teachers.
 
And professors who are enthusiastic about their subjects, and want to motivate students to follow their interests are becoming less and less the person they were before entering management.
 
“Maybe it’s cognitive dissonance (an AP Psychology term).”
 
He joked with me.
 
Kids who could have made a difference in the world, who were extraordinarily creative and imaginative, were denied every opportunity because of some “behavioral problem.” They repeatedly fail in their struggle with the system, and become disillusioned in their failure. As a result, their quest for knowledge and the collision between intellectuals gradually lost. Since then, they have had that dismissive attitude in the classroom.
 
My teacher regretted not fighting for more rights for these kids who could have accomplished, and who didn’t?
 
Let’s hope that these very individual and thoughtful kids will be understood sometime in the future.
 
Let’s hope that the future system doesn’t restrict their creativity and imagination anymore and doesn’t send a chill to those genuine educators’ hearts.