June 11th, 2020 | Teen Ink

June 11th, 2020

January 5, 2022
By Kjdamery05 BRONZE, Macon, Illinois
Kjdamery05 BRONZE, Macon, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

A regular Friday night in June, or so I thought. I had spent the evening with some friends, but my parents went ahead and ordered Mexican for dinner. Once I got home, I took off my wet swimsuit and put on a comfortable outfit. I came downstairs and sat at the end of the kitchen table. Once everyone finished their food, my parents suddenly got serious. They told us to listen and stay serious for a couple of minutes. We all knew the news we would soon here, would not be good. They told us that my dad had scans done, and the doctors found a spot that may be cancerous. My heart dropped into my stomach. I decided to think on the bright side. After all, they had no answers. Until June 11th, they sat us all down again, and I knew by the look on their faces our lives would soon take a turn. 

They told us the said spot was cancerous. I felt like I had been hit by a train. I immediately stopped listening and had a million thoughts in my head. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, but I couldn't cry. I looked around the room at my brothers. Both had their heads down, looking at the floor. None of us had a thing to say. They told us there was no stage. I knew they were lying. They told us that if we wanted to talk to family about it we could. They didn't want us to keep our emotions in. How was this possible? Confusion overcame me. I didn't know how to express what my feelings were. I didn't even know what I felt. When I found out the stage, it all hit me again. I got upset all over again. I lost the positive mindset I once had.

I had so many emotions I didn't know what to do with them. I felt confusion. Surely this was not real. I felt sad, but I didn't want to cry. No one else was. I couldn't cry first. I had to show them I had strength. Fear became my primary emotion. I felt furious at the world. I didn't know what the future would hold for our family. I felt like I had my life perfectly planned out. Just for this, to come in and rip it all to shreds. 

Thousands of thoughts ran through my head. I just kept thinking, why would this happen? What did we do to have to fight this battle? I didn't want to be strong, I wanted to give up. I didn't want to think on the bright side. Suddenly, the room became silent. I hoped they hadn't said much more because I couldn't think straight to listen. Not a peep, and everyone stared down. My dad said that the doctors would help him. Anger took over my body, I wanted to throw everything off the table. What's next? How much longer do we have? All these things kept making me more and more upset. I still hadn't cried yet. But I felt so weak. So weak. I looked up, and my dad wiped away tears. He told us we would get through it. But now, all I could think of was, who would walk me down the aisle if something happened? I didn't say anything, and I went to my room. As soon as I closed the door, tears rushed down my cheeks. I felt hot. I wanted to scream. Suddenly, I had a different look at life. 


The author's comments:

This piece is my perspective of one of the worst days of my life. I was able to put all my feelings and emotions into words and it helped me get through it in some ways. 


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