The Ninth Beginning 

The buildings were crowded and filled with noise. All around me the chaos expands through every corner of the school. We walked around quickly, some of us with a purpose and others truly clueless. It is simple, really. It is necessary for my life to change, and here is the change that  I have been waiting for. Our lives were all so complicated before, so filled with stress and worry because this unknown part of life loomed ominously over us. We all want to know who we are going to be, and here is our chance to figure it out.

Just walk through the doors and it’ll be okay. I keep my head down. No one is paying attention to me. No one cares if I am standing near them. No one cares if I did my hair this morning or if my clothes look just right. Most people that I see as I walk have been here before. They know what they are doing, and they just want to get it all over with. Still, I keep my head down. If I could find someone I know, it would be better, but I’ve never been here before, and before this moment I belonged somewhere else and knew people that I no longer know. Just keep walking forward, and find somewhere to stop and stand. I look at my phone, and pretend like I have a reason to be standing where I am. I look around and take in everything and everyone that surrounds me. I see groups of people standing like animals in a zoo, and avoiding each other as much as possible. This is where I belong now, whether I want to be here or not. 

I take out my schedule, because I don’t want to get lost on my first day. I study the room number of my first class, and start to walk there. Being early is not a problem, at least if I go to the wrong place, I will have time to find the right one without being late. Time is kind of a blur. I am a little early, but that ends up being a good thing in the end. I walk into the class, and pick a seat. There’s a few people in one corner, so I go and sit with them and try to be friendly. They look just as worried as I do, so they must be new as well. I shift uncomfortably in my seat and attempt to look somewhat confident. The girl nearest to me introduces herself and asks about my other classes. She came from somewhere else, too. See? Now I have a friend and it’s only been an hour. That wasn’t so hard, now was it? I talk to more people now, feeling slightly better about the whole situation, and learn quickly who I am going to get along with and who I am not really going to like. I silently choose the girl next to me as a friend, because we seem to have a lot in common.

Classes pass by quickly, as if the clock has sped up just for me. It is not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I feel much less alone now. The bell rings after the fourth period, finally. I grab my stuff and get out as fast as possible. The crowds become overwhelming when no one knows where they are going. I walk with the other girl through the superfluous crowd, trusting that the other students know where they are going. I certainly don’t. The cafeteria is packed like Times Square on New Year's Eve, so it may be best to avoid it for today. Eat outside, there are less people there and it is easier to find somewhere to sit. We find an empty seat, and sit down, somewhat unsure of how to act. We talk about ourselves, finding things that we have in common. We will be very close eventually, but for now we don’t know much about each other. Neither of us eats very much because we are far too stressed to have much of an appetite. The bell rings again. Is it over already? Time for the next class. I pick up my backpack and my schedule and finish what I am saying to my new friend. I will see her later, so I wave goodbye enthusiastically and walk away.

I walk with the crowd again, lowering my gaze as people rush by, so as not to make eye contact with anyone. Find the next class. The day is already halfway over. What a relief it is to know that I am almost done being lost. That class is easier to find, and everyone in this room looks nicer than in the previous classes. The teacher smiles and tells us that we have assigned seats in this class, to the relief of a few of us. At least now I can just talk to whoever the teacher puts near me. Only a few more classes, and then I am done. At least I don’t have any homework when I get home, because no one gives homework on the first day. 

Eventually, after my last class, the bell rings one final time and everyone stands up once again. I put in my earbuds for the first time that day, because I no longer have to pay attention to what I am doing. Just get on the bus, don’t miss the stop, and the day will be over. Take another deep breath. The hardest day is finally over. Tomorrow will be better.