Eight words.  Eight words that could change a girl’s life forever.

Visitation day. As soon as she sees her mom she runs and hugs her so tight because she hadn’t seen her in months. That poor little girl crying into her momma’s opening arms when it was time to leave because she didn’t know the next time they would see each other. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t live with her because everything seemed so normal when they were together. The girl hugged her mom one last time, and as she got in the car and rolled down the window she whispered, “I love you so much, Mommy.” She might have said it a little bit louder if she would have known that that would be the last time they saw each other. But she just kept waving until all she could see was a blurry spot standing in the driveway.

That little girl would never understand the pain her mom felt when her little girl left, until May 6th, 2020, when her mom left her. That little girl was me and on Wednesday May 6th, I wasn’t a little girl anymore. That day would forever hold a special place in my heart. Nobody would understand the pain I went through and how traumatized I was.

I walked down the stairs to see my aunt still on the phone. She had been talking to someone for at least two hours. She needed to talk to my twin and me. We walked downstairs trying to think of things that she might say. “Are we getting a new dog?”, “Are we going on vacation?”, “Are we moving?” Little did we know that what she was going to say would be nothing like we hoped.

 The next eight words out of her mouth broke me down in pieces. Immediately I fell to the floor and I felt my heart shatter in front of me. I continued to shake and scream in pain. I didn’t believe it. There’s no way it could be true. All of the tears left a salty taste in my mouth, but I didn’t care. My aunt held me in her arms and just kept saying, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.” I knew It was never going to feel okay.

 I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was gasping for air as I tried to hold back a couple tears just so I could get oxygen. I was supposed to be strong for my sister, but in that moment my walls came down and I felt destroyed. I couldn’t stop thinking about those eight words: “I’m so sorry girls. Your mom passed away.”

 I never knew that a simple eight words could do so much damage.