What do you want to be? Who do you want to be? these questions still remain a mystery to me how can I discover who I am if I'm constantly being judged again and again... every move I make, every step I take has to be done with precision and caution, even the words I say have to be filtered an understated. We live in a world where anything we do is judged, even the way people breathe's judged. 

When people ask me what I like I truly don't know how to respond anymore because I've been so busy growing up for everyone else I grew up not knowing how to be a kid. Iḿ a pathological liar... I lie to myself every day when I listen to music I don't like when I say things I don't mean all because I live in a world where even your own friends talk behind your back they may not say these things to your face because then they may lose a friend, but does that friend truly care about you when their other friend they say mean things about you to. Why don't they just be friends with that person then... well they can't because then they wouldn't have anyone to talk badly about that person to, you have to admit you do it too.

I understand that no one is perfect because I'm not perfect I live in a world where girls are supposed to be 5'5", with dirty blonde hair, tan skin, blue eyes, and exactly 30 freckles painted across her cheeks; the same thing goes for guys too they have to be 6'1", brown hair, blue eyes, and a full-blown 6 pack. Not to mention all of the personality traits you have to have. you might as well be God and live your fantasy out in the sims, but you'll get made fun of for that too. The fact that a majority of teens are depressed doesn't surprise me because the society that was forced to grow up in does challenges like water fasting to lose 30 pounds in 30 days or the that girl trend where you turn yourself into the model version of yourself. These trends are unhealthy and unrealistic for sixteen-year-olds to partake in. they set high standards on teens and cause them to stress about their looks weight and physical appearance while faking a smile as they walk the halls with glaring eyes and evil stares.

High school is one of the most judgemental places on the planet, it causes the most stress on teens than anywhere else the piles of homework students bring home as well as the hurtful words said about them on top of that. Many students are judged on how they act or who their friends with even based on the sport they play. Students balance good grades, friends, nights out, sports, and get all their homework done on time, and they still have to worry about their own health how they look and how they act around their family.

So am I truly myself? or can I not separate myself from my act?