Have you ever experienced something excruciating? Something that not only is physically taxing but also mentally distressing? Getting hit square in the face with a baseball during a semifinal. Falling on the ice 7 times while attempting to skate for the first time. Getting so angry that you kick the door with all your might only to realize the pain which you just inflicted on yourself. Events like these are seared into your memory, and when they return to consciousness, you brace yourself again. 

During 3rd grade, I had one of these experiences. I have a condition called Hydrocephalus, and the basis of this condition is that my brain cannot absorb the fluid (cerebrospinal fluid) which it creates. I have two shunts to drain this fluid, and when these shunts fail, I need to have a brain surgery. 

During the second semester of 3rd grade, I watched with awe as the upperclassmen performed in Divine Redeemer's Talent Show. I was sitting at a round table with my father and uncle, and I had warm Culver's chicken tenders in front of me. Yet, I had no desire to eat them. I went to the restroom. I was extremely nauseous. We needed to go home.

 I had developed meningoencephalitis, and I went into a coma. I was transported to the hospital, and the following weeks were a blur of pain and waiting. I had several surgeries during my 3 weeks in the ICU; however, I am fortunate to remember little of my suffering as I was out for the majority of the hospital stay. When I returned home, I was greeted by a poster in my yard saying "Welcome Home Joseph" from my neighbors. I began my recovery.

Multiple new incisions and time to think are a tough combination. "I remember, I remember, I remember." My mom heard me cry these words constantly throughout the day as I thought about life before my surgery. When I woke up in the hospital, I was distraught because I thought I had missed an entire year of my life. Although this wasn't true, during the three weeks of my somnolence, I missed out on many events for which I had been waiting with anticipation. I remembered that I missed the Cub Scouts Blue and Gold, the fun of Spring Break, school, time with friends, and the fierce competition of Upward basketball. My life was dramatically different. I couldn't use the restroom without the incision on my abdomen stinging, and I could only sleep in one position in order to not aggravate the incisions on my head, abdomen, and back. I wanted life as it was before. "I remember, I remember, I remember."

What happens after these painful events? Can you remember the relief you had when the pain went away? Did the experience bring about blessings which you could have never imagined? I believe that God allows these challenges in our life to lead us on a new path… one more beautiful, joyful, and hopeful. 

In my recovery, I received multiple gifts. First, my best friend's dad came over to my house to give me a signed jersey by Andrew Bogut, my favorite basketball player at the time. He had purchased it for a steep price at an auction, but he gave it to me as encouragement. Additionally, my mother applied for a wish from the Make A Wish Foundation. As my fourth grade year started, I had the best week of my life as I went to Florida to stay at Give Kids the World Resort and visit Disney World. Finally, I had new working shunts which would last another four years before I needed another surgery… and my teachers may or may not have scrapped my homework. I only needed to pick up where the class was when I came back to school.

I remember both pain and joy. I remember both suffering and beauty. I remember both isolation and love. Thank you Lord for sparing my life. I will always remember.