My Journey 

          A warm afternoon gust sailed through the trees and blew up dead grass. Dust particles flew about that had been lying underneath the dead grass atop of it. The sun was lowering into a hazy horizon, as children screamed and ran about the field. My coach tried to get us to kick the small ball that was on the ground, but we were more fascinated by the neon orange cones and dandelions on the ground. After a while, my coach dismissed his young athletes and one by one we left the field with mom or dad. Eventually it was Saturday, and my small teammates and I along with our parents all congregated at the local middle school. Kickoff began, and while most of the children were heavily invested in the worms on the field, I started to dribble the ball, right past everyone, and scored. That’s where it all started. Years passed of me doing this and eventually my parents decided to invest my time at the tryouts of a club team. As I attended tryouts a tall man asked me “Would you like to come tryout with the goalies?”. I was shy but eventually consented to going up and practicing with some goalies. Tryouts came and went and eventually I  was offered a spot, which I gladly accepted. I made my first club team. Uniforms were ordered, fees were paid, and I was given some cheap goalie gloves. I was excited as a piglet in the mud about my accomplishment. 

          As the end of the first season neared, something odd happened. Something wasn’t quite right. Every time I stepped on the field, a strange feeling came to my head. It was like a dizziness, only there was no spinning. I told mom and dad. They first thought it could be I was never properly hydrated, but the event kept recurring. My mother took me to several specialists, with no diagnosis from any of them. Eventually, the illness dissipated, and I played another season without any symptoms whatsoever. In sixth grade, the dizziness returned one night as I was running down the field at practice. I collapsed onto the ground and toppled over into the grass when I attempted to get up. I just closed my eyes while my coaches heaved me off the field. I went home and told my mother, who was very angry. “There’s nothing wrong with you” she said. “I’ve spent so much money and the doctors say you are fine. You’re doing this for attention and this nonsense must stop”. I was devastated by my mother’s words. I longed to be able to play soccer like everyone else without the immense fear of wanting to pass out every time I stepped upon a field to play. It wasn’t even only on the field, I had these dizzy spells everywhere. Eventually I was diagnosed with low blood pressure, and started a new prescription. This new prescription was barely working, but I was scared of my mother, so I lied and continued to battle the illness. I began to hate my sport. The thing I had loved doing now caused so much fear, anxiety, and distress. I fought it for three more years, transferring to a different club as well. I was torn, like the North and South in the Civil War. On one hand, I was very prideful about playing, but on the other, my illness was preventing me from being able to fully enjoy playing. I didn’t know what to do.

         The pressure was on for me to make the soccer team my freshman year for school, and when the final roster arrived, my name wasn’t on it. I was sad on the outside, but secretly relieved on the inside. I hadn’t made it, and club was breaking for high school, therefore I wouldn’t be playing for a little while and by the time I was back on the field, it would be warm, which helped the illness. In early spring, my father randomly inquired about the medicine and if it was working. I confessed in tears to him I was miserable and wanted to quit soccer. He told my mother and we went back to the doctor, who gave me another medicine to try. Although I still would get the occasional rough spell, this medicine helped immensely, and I was flooded with relief. In fact, because of my dizziness, I swore I’d never play college ball or be a top athlete. However, thanks to my diagnosis and new prescriptions, I have been able to give my very best on the field. This has led to me being promoted to captain, as well as receiving an offer for my first official visit as a recruit. If my younger self were to be able to foresee the future, I would have been absolutely flabbergasted.