Drip. Drip. Drip. Their insults fell like drops of water into my glass of emotions. The water rose higher and higher. It was bound to eventually overflow.

In my family, I am known as the “baby”. Out of six cousins and two siblings, I am the youngest by at least five years. As a child, I spent a lot of time on the sidelines, watching the big kids hang out and play games. They were all very close to each other, and I was just the annoying little kid that they wanted nothing to do with; meaning I was always the victim of their harsh comments, criticisms, and cutting remarks. This made for a very challenging childhood. 

At Easter in 2006, we all gathered at my Aunt Wanda’s house. I was four at the time. Everyone was outside, enjoying the nice weather. All of the cousins were playing around with a soccer ball. I wandered over to the open field. I tugged on my sister, Tierra’s, shirt, “Sissy, can I play with you guys?”. She looked at me like I was crazy. “No, go sit back down,” she responded. I trotted back to my mom with a pout on my face. “Mom, they won’t let me play with them,” I whined. She told the other kids to let me play, that I would be fine. I ran back out to the field, excited to have fun with my cousins. A few minutes after I was in the game, the ball started rolling towards me. I started running towards it, getting ready to kick. All of a sudden I was hit with a strong force and knocked to the ground. My cousin, Hunter, tumbled over me. There was a sharp pain in my knee. I looked down at my new white leggings, which were now ruined. Tears fell down my face as I looked at the hole in my pants, now replaced by blood and torn skin. Tierra rushed over to me. “I told you that you couldn’t play. You’re too little,” she said. Before my mom scooped me up to take me inside, I heard Hunter cover a laugh and mumble a fake “sorry”. The big kids won. The first drop fell into my glass. 

Seven months later, we gathered at my grandma and grandpa’s house for Thanksgiving. Ever since the Easter incident, I was determined to prove to the big kids that I was not ‘too little’ to hang out with them. I had worn my favorite black dress with different colored sparkles that made me look like I was older. If I didn’t dress like a little kid, I wouldn’t act like one either. When my family pulled up to the house in Andrew, Tierra and Ben ran to the house and straight to the basement where the other kids were. I followed them as fast as my legs could go. I was glowing with excitement. They were going to be nice to me today, I just knew it. As I rounded the corner in the basement, everyone got quiet. They were all sitting in a circle playing cards. “Nice dress,” my cousin, Aleenah, snickered. I felt like I had just received a gold star. “Thank you!” I responded with the biggest smile on my face. This made everyone laugh. I was confused. “I was kidding. You can leave now,” she said without looking up from her cards. My heart shattered. I turned around and walked slowly back up the stairs, tears cascading down my face. I changed out of my dress. It was not my favorite anymore. The big kids had won yet again. My glass continued to fill.

Two years later, my family gathered at my grandma and grandpa’s house for Christmas. “Did you even brush your hair today, Neveah?” Tierra asked rudely.. One more drop. “Yeah, I did,” I defended as I tried to smooth out my curly, blonde hair. “Well it sure doesn’t look like it. It’s a mess.”

I stood near the wall in the basement. Tierra, Aleenah, and Libbi were picking on me like they always do. “Want me to do your hair for you?” Aleenah asked. My eyes lit up with excitement as I nodded. I looked like my parents just brought me home a new puppy. Their hair was always so pretty and put together perfectly. I wanted mine to look just like theirs. “Just kidding,” she laughed, “You really think I was going to touch your nasty blonde curls?” They all looked at each other and laughed. My glass was nearly full. “Why are you guys always so mean to me?” I asked, tears brimming in my eyes. “What are you gonna do about it, Ugly Locks?” Tierra mocked. Drip. The nickname they had given me forced my glass to overflow. The water was flowing out faster than I could control. I couldn’t contain my emotions any longer. The girls were looking at each other, laughing at the nickname they had made up. Before I knew it, my hand was reaching for Tierra. My arm stretched, fingers ready to grab hold of her arm. “Ow!” she yelled. I pinched her. I finally stood up for myself. The three mean girls ran upstairs, no doubt to tell on me to the parents, but I didn’t care. I had won. I sat on the couch with a smile on my face. They never called me ‘Ugly Locks’ again.