“Makenzie, we have figured out what is going on with you.” the doctor said it sternly. seconds passed. I got worried and impatient and began to think wow, maybe it is really that bad. It's been about a minute now. Its really awkward in the room because the doctor is just sitting there staring at my mom and i could tell my mom was getting impatient also. The room was so quiet so that the computer monitors slight rumble filled the air. And there we waited. The doctor looked up from her paper and just stared at me. “You may not understand this for a while but it is nothing to be afraid of” “okay” i said. “You have a rare condition called juvenile rheumatoid idiopathic arthritis, Or JIRA.” i was only a little girl. A girl who loved to climb trees, ride dirtbikes, or just play outside in the mud. I was a normal child. Until i started to have complications with my life in what i could and couldn't do.

It all started out when i could barely walk or bend my arms and legs in certain ways. I couldn't sit on my knees and to this day i cant sit criss cross. My mom thought i was just being a kid and over exaggerating but this really hurt. I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to move, my joints got stuck together and they wouldn't move. When i tried to move pain just shot through my body like someone was stabbing me, over and over again, all over my body. The pain was excruciating. I mean just imagine, your bones without cartilage between them, and whenever you move just grinding together non stop. I had to go through so many tests and x rays. Kinds you will probably never have or have even heard of. It was definitely a lot but i got through it. Yes, i still have complications and yes i still take some medications but, i am thankful that it is not active and i can do all the things i love. In the end i realize to speak up about what is going on. If i had waited any longer i would have been hospitalized and been very sick. Even more sick than i already was. It would have been so bad to where being on the medications i had to take wouldn't have even affected the condition.  It all started out when i was getting ready for school. My mom had asked me “hey kenz, come here and sit down so i can do your hair.” i had walked over there and sat down and she said “ can you sit on your knees please, i cant reach down like that.” so i went to go reposition my body and as i was leaning down to put my weight on my knees, all i could feel was this tight pain rushing through my legs like a raging river upseted by a downpour of rain. I broke out in tears. “Whats wrong with you!”. I couldn't move my legs at that point. The thoughts came rushing through my head. Had i been paralyzed? would i have to get my legs cut off? my imagination got the best of my at that age and i don't know what i was thinking. I started to sit up and it was very difficult. I had felt as if i was a baby learning how to walk for the first time. My legs were very weak and i could feel the power draining out of my body like i had a plug and someone unplugged me, all the power and energy i had came rushing out. Day by day the pain continued. I hadn't really said anything to my mother because why? She would think i was lying and being overdramatic. I would sit in my desk at school and watch the kids outside playing on the playset. Watching them swing and play tag. Using all their arms and legs just how i should be able to. I thought i had something seriously wrong with me. I would pick my selves out of all the kids and say to myself “you're not normal.” “ you're not like them.” “stop trying.” and when kids asked me whats wrong? Id say, “i don't know but i cant. I cant. I cant do this or that. I dont know whats wrong.” about a month goes by and my mother decides to take me to the doctors office.”im tired of listening to you complain about nothing and i'm going to prove you wrong.” as we walk in i remember a very drowsy, non-welcoming place. There were tan couches with that rough fabric that nobody likes. Stained white throw pillows and some fake plants that couldn't pull off being fake. On the other side of the room was a wall that half way up was glass. On the other side of that glass was the receptionist. She was wearing a dark grey pant suit with a stained white undershirt. Her tie was a painful orange that hurt my eyes when i looked at it. After we checked in, about 3 minutes later the doctor came out and called my name. “Makenzie robinson?” i get up and walk through the double doors that led to the back where the rooms are. He does the same old check up on me and then sits down at his computer and starts typing. He rolls around on the little stool that he is sitting on and says “well, i am going to be honest here. I have no idea what's going on with you. If we took your symptoms are tried to figure out what you had, it would take forever because we could diagnose you with a form of cancer but you may have nothing close to that.” months and months go by. The amount of tests that i had been through at that point was unimaginable. It was getting so bad. The pain was unbearable. I would sit in my room wondering if i'll ever be able to get out of bed. Thinking to myself, “well maybe this is it.” all i remember is being so miserable. Having to walk slowly around the house because if i didnt pain would shoot up my body like hunters at the beginning of hunting season. The pain was like a robber. Breaking into my body and messing everything up just to get what they want, not realizing what damage they are doing. After so many hospital trips and drives to different clinics, i got recommended to seattle children's. We made an appointment and went in within the next couple of days. We went in so many times and stayed there all day long. Just walking down the empty hospital halls. waiting, and waiting. We figured out a medication plan and they showed us how to use them and what they were. They also told me that i was in a very bad condition. If i had waited any longer then i would have been hospitalized. What i learned from this is that i should listen to my body. Not put off stuff because they could be very life threatening.