“I hate my life,” I said as tears dripped down my face. As everything drowned me. The life lesson I had learned from this whole thing is that there is more to life and it's not as bad as it seems. It started in 8th grade when friends become enemies. I started to get paranoid about what people said about me. Words swirled around my head. Throughout the year it got worse and I started to feel really down. I felt like there was nothing left to do but to do something to myself. In my defense, nobody knew what it was like to be me. Nobody could see through the eyes of me. No one could feel the pain and how I was feeling except me. No one could understand me except me.

People, I trusted talked behind my back. My grades started to drop and so did my self-esteem. I started to not know who I was. I couldn't look through a mirror and see myself clear through. I was feeling not like myself. Through the bad days, I listened to music to try to lift my spirit up. And i still do to this day. Music brings the best out of me. It helps me and speaks to me. I listen to it all day and night. Something that also helped me through this time was my friends well some of them. They were always trying to help me. I lost some friends and gained some throughout the whole journey.

At school, I hide my hand from everyone and made sure no one saw it. But someone noticed and they told a teacher right away. Then I was called down to the office. I cried and cried. After I sat in the office for a while my face was flushed and my eyes were red. I then went down to the nurse’s office and showed my hand. She asked “so what happened” I replied with nothing. When I got home that day I broke down. I hadn't shown my mom yet. But she found out already. When she got home from work she ran and cried. Once my sister found out she was about ready to cry to. She said, “ I wish I knew before I could have helped her”. She was very sad and upset. People were scared of me and my mental health. For the next couple of weeks, I still attended school regularly but I still felt unsteady not like I was in a bad place I just felt like something wasn't clicking. People would ask me about my hand I would show them but they were left in shock.

Later that night my parents were scared for me too. They cried for me. I was tearing up too. My parents came to the conclusion that I would have to go to therapy for a while. I didn't want too but I was forced too. My feelings were all clogged up and I didn’t know what to say. I just wanted yell saying I didn't want to go to therapy. But I was forced to go. To this day I don't think it helped that much. What I needed was space for me to get in a good mental state of mind. I needed to get away from people.

After months past my hand started to heal and get better. My grades were better, I got a new friend group which I am really grateful for. Everything in my life seemed to find a place. For once I felt happy again without worries.  And I started a hobby which I stopped a long time ago. I bond with my teammates and we make a good team. Another couple of months past and now I am here in the present. And I realize without therapy I wouldn't have been where I am right now without it.

I am finally done with therapy.  I felt happy. But some days I still get down but not that down. I'm recovered now my hand is fully healed and I am in a good place. My friends and family helped me a lot. I can't imagine how bad life would be if I were still in that state of mind. But I learned that hurting myself was not the way to deal with things. I found other ways to cope with my anger and sadness. Like I said music helps me a lot. It blocks out the bad stuff.  I got new friends to talk to. And some old friends have stuck with me all the way through that whole thing. Everything is sorted out now. I have all I need with me now. I also learned never to do that again because I don't want to go to therapy again and I just wanna feel happy and not sad anymore.

It really makes a difference if you look on the positive side and not on the negative parts of life. Because when I was on the negative side I was in a really dark place which wasn't good for me and my well being.  But like they said, “ life isn't always rainbows and butterflies”. As I go on through my life I hope to keep positive energy in the air with me. My goal in life is to have a better mindset. But after all that I am so happy that I am here today with all my friends and family. Recovering could no have been done without the help of my friends and family. I am so glad I am where I am right now.