When I was younger one of my favorite quotes was said by Vince Lombardi. It said: “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing”. I always loved this quote because I found it relatable to me and my personal experiences. When I was a kid I believed that winning was one of the most important aspects of any sport. Whether I was playing softball, tennis, or basketball, the only thing that ever seemed to matter to me was beating the opposing team. I didn’t care how well myself or my teammates played. The only thing that mattered was the final score when the buzzer sounded loud and abruptly, signaling the end to the game. I never really minded thinking like this, but it did kind of ruin sports for me sometimes. Occasionally, it made the game a whole lot more stressful than it needed to be. I would feel nearly sick to my stomach before a basketball tournament or be shaken to the core as I stepped onto the softball mound to throw my first pitch of a game. My main focus coming into the game was trying not to disappoint everyone, especially my teammates. What I should have known is no one was going to be mad at me if we lost. It was just one game of many, yet I never realized it even though it was right in front of me the whole time.

For as long as I can remember my most stressful season was always in-house basketball. I always thought my team was absolutely amazing. Similar to the Golden State Warriors, but not nearly as dominant. We won almost every single game we played, most of the time by around ten, which isn’t bad for a team like ours. How we won all of those games was slightly less impressive. We ran a bunch of offensive sets, then a zone defense. True, our sets were always run perfectly, but how could they not be when we went through them for hours every single day. The end result was almost always an easy layup that was softly thrown up towards the backboard and kissed off the glass into the basket. Then we would sprint back and set up our zone defense, packing it in forcing everyone to beat us from the outside. Spoiler alert: No one could. For the most part, we were a very successful team. My teammates and I wanted to keep it that way, so we gladly did whatever the coaches said, blindly following their instructions to get the win, though none of their methods were helping anyone get better. We ended up going nearly undefeated almost every season and although I didn’t learn a single thing, I always thought that the season was extremely successful. I thought I was this great player playing on this perfect team who seemingly could do no wrong. It didn’t really get much better than this.

It wasn’t until I joined an AAU team that I had began to have second thoughts about that whole “good basketball player on a great team” idea. I came into my first practice thinking it would be the same thing as in-house, run the set that was called, make the layup and so on. Boy was that assumption wrong. I learned really fast this team was way different than what I was used to. They had a completely different philosophy than what was ever introduced to me, and it was really hard to adjust to. It took me nearly an entire season just to get used to the new concepts that were being thrown at me left and right. Even after all that time I still wasn’t one hundred percent confident that I had it all down, but I realize now that the hard work I put in with them was well worth it. I had a feeling this program was special the minute I joined, but it taught me more than I could have ever imagined.

I remember this one tournament that we played in. Not only was it one of the first of the season but it was also the state tournament. Because the coaches didn’t want us to be nervous when we played, they decided not to tell us that we were actually playing at state until after we had all of our games. This ended up working pretty well, as we ended up winning our first two games by fairly large margins. After the buzzer sounded on our second game, we went out into the hallway to discuss what we could have done better. Then all of a sudden the news slips out. Everyone was shocked. I watch as everyone’s smiles shined way brighter than before. It was enough for us to win the game, but to have a shot at the state championship? This was going to be a whole new experience for my friends and me, but one we won’t forget any time soon.

The next day we played our final game of the tournament: the championship. This was it. Win or go home. We all were more nervous to play that one game than we had been all year, but once we stepped onto the hardwood everyone felt relaxed. It felt familiar and natural. Everyone began the game fired up and excited to compete, but despite our best efforts we ended up losing by around eight points. I was disappointed that we had lost, but when I looked around, none of my friends looked very upset. Everyone was talking to each other and having fun while we waited for our second place medals to arrive. I wondered why no one was upset that we had just lost the championship. It was because we all tried the best that we could to win the game for each other, and ended up getting better in the process. When our coach got back he told us that we ended up qualifying for a tournament that would take place in Tennessee later that year. Then he announced that we wouldn’t be attending. I was shocked. If we qualified for this incredible tournament then why in the world wouldn’t we go? After a while, I realized that it didn’t matter the reason. What was more important was the fact that we got second place in the state tournament, and we did it together as a team.

Around a month later we were headed to my favorite place to play tournaments at, Wisconsin Dells. Normally when we head to this tournament people tend to separate into groups. I would see about half of my teammates, while the others were nowhere to be found until almost game time. I thought this year would be pretty much the same thing as the years before, but this team was just full of surprises. Every morning we all met up at certain designated spots and hung out all day together as a team. No one ever felt left out or excluded. Even our families were hanging out together. Our siblings kept each other company, while the parents ended up taking the time to have a much-needed break, lounging at two tables in the corner that were pulled together so everyone could talk to each other. Everyone was acting like one big family. That day was the closest I ever felt to my teammates. We went down waterslide after waterslide, never taking a moment to stop. It was exhausting, but no one really cared, because it was so much fun. Then we went to the tournament and ended up getting fifth place. Even though we lost the majority of the games, we all still left the facility upbeat and smiling. When I got into the car I wasn’t even mad about the games that we lost. I had too many fun memories flooding through my head. Then it finally hit me: This tournament wasn’t fun because we won some of the games we played, it was fun because we made a ton of memories together, and that was enough for me.

The tournament immediately following this one was the biggest one of the season. We were set to play in Las Vegas, Nevada. I’ve played in this tournament before, so I know the competition is by far and away the best I’ve ever played against. This tournament features some of the best of the best players, people that are really serious about basketball and might even go on to play college ball. I don’t think we won a single game that day, but we were close in most of them. I remember this one where we ended up losing by around five points. Everyone was kind of upset because that was a team that we normally could have beaten. When we were doing our meeting after the game the strangest thing happened. The coach from the opposite team approached us. He told us that we worked really well as a team, and played very hard on the floor. He also mentioned that we had great attitudes and carried ourselves with class on and off the court. That was one of the best compliments that I have ever received as a player because it congratulated my character more than my skill, and that was more of a win than I could have ever asked for.

The next day we were playing our last game of the season. As we stepped onto the hardwood everyone’s hearts were filled with sorrow. This might be the last time we played together again. Of course us being the team we were, the game came down to the very last second. At the end of it, despite our best efforts, we were unfortunately on the losing side of the game. As we walked off the court I caught a glimpse of one of my closest friends on the team visibly upset. I went over and asked her if she was sad that we ended up losing the game. She replied to me: “No, I’m upset that the season is over. Now I don’t get to see some of my closest friends for a long time again.” As I looked back on that day and reflected upon it, I realized that I was sad too, and it wasn’t because we lost our very last game. It was because my favorite basketball season I have ever had is now over. These people have changed my life in some of the best ways possible, and along the way taught me a very important lesson: Winning isn’t everything. It was the journey and the memories I made along the way that was the most important thing...although winning happens to be a really great bonus.

Sometimes I wonder if I would still be playing basketball right now if it wasn’t for that team. Most of the time I find that my answer is no. They made me a better player and a better person and taught me that there is a difference between being competitive, and just being a sore loser. A loser only cares about winning. If they end up not winning a game it could ruin their entire day. They will put the blame on their teammates, saying it was anyone’s fault but theirs. Being competitive is something completely different. It is wanting and trying to win, but knowing that it’s not the end of the world if they lose. If they make a mistake they recognize it, take the blame and move on. I realize now that the mentality I had when I was younger was all wrong. If I did end up losing no one was going to be disappointed in me, despite what I had previously believed. As long as I tried my best, no one was going to be angry. If it wasn’t for this team, I don’t know if I ever would have figured that out. That was such an important lesson for me to learn. I am very grateful for my amazing teammates, who really opened up my eyes to what being a basketball player and playing on a team really is about.