Since I was a little girl, I've always looked up to my brothers. I have three older brothers, Niall, Ryan, and Liam. Everything they did was everything that I've ever known. I can clearly remember the day they all attended bible camp in Lake Geneva. I remember dropping them off at their cabins and being an only child for a week of the summer. The second I stepped foot on that camp, I couldn't wait for the day I was old enough to attend it. The camp was covered with bright green grass, that ended when it met the sand and the dark blue water. Kids were running around everywhere, playing games and laughing. A big hill lead to multiple cabins, some new and some renovated. It all seemed so amazing and welcoming to me. The day came when I was old enough to go.  I was 9 years old, and my best friend Maddie and I spent a week having the time of our lives. I then after attended that camp every year, growing closer to God and closer to my brothers. Soon my brother Niall became a counselor there, I was so excited. The next year I truly felt like I was home, I knew everything about the camp, and I had family working there. Soon my brother Liam began to work there as well. I knew I wanted to be a counselor since I was 10 years old, and my want to work there would grow every time I attended camp.

When you start high school, you can join the Alpha program. The Alpha program is an extra week of camp and more responsibilities. I've met some of my best friends through the Alpha program, and I never want to leave. They were always the best two weeks of summer. One of my favorite times was when we would wake up early and watch the sunrise on the doc. The vivid colors of the sun reflecting off the water, it really was a gift from God. And of course, the best part of it all, spending time with the campers. Being an Alpha gave you the opportunity to work with the day camp counselors for a day. Hanging out with all the kids, doing arts and crafts and playing games is by far the best part of camp. My sophomore year I was determined to apply to be a counselor, but my mother told me I couldn't because I had to take summer school and redo algebra 1. I was very sad I couldn't apply, but at the same time, I was relieved. The application process was long and tedious, and I was honestly scared that I wasn't going to get the job. I went to Alpha again and made even more friends. Later in the summer, I ditched lollapalooza to be able to go back to camp for another week. This was when I knew I was ready, Lolla was something that I looked forward to every summer, and I gave up that time to be able to go to camp, I was ready to sacrifice those things about the summer back at home. I 100% knew this was where I was meant to be

   Junior year started, and the application process began a lot earlier than I thought. I immediately became stressed. Who was going to be my religious reference? What if I'm not good enough to be a counselor? What if I'm just making this decision because my brothers worked there? Why am I going to leave my best friends for the whole summer? These were things that constantly ran through my head. I was scared. This was something I had been planning my whole life and I was scared I wasn't good enough. I was scared that the one chance I had to work at my favorite place in the world would be shot down. I began to procrastinate turning in my application. I knew someone that was applying as well, her name was Lauren, and she would facetime me and ask me if I turned in my application and I would say the same thing, “No I haven't finished it yet! I'll turn it in by the end of this week. I promise.” That was a lie. I did not follow through with that promise, I wanted everything I said to be perfect. A month and 12 days later I finally turned in my application. For the next two weeks, I stressed about their response and if I turned it in too late and that everyday camp position was filled up, were they going to call me, email me, I was extremely nervous. One Wednesday night as I was driving to SAT prep I saw one of my old camp friends post on their Instagram saying they got a job at camp. I then texted my friend Lauren,  my heart dropped when she said she was hired too. I was extremely happy for them but I was freaking out. The moment I got home from SAT prep I started freaking out to my brother. He laughed at me and told me they hired people until the week before camp starts. This made me feel a lot better, but some people already had a job and I had just turned my application in. I was late to the game. The next Tuesday night as I was studying for finals, I got an email from a woman named  Jessica. Jessica was the person that would decide if I was hired or not. She asked me when I could do a facetime interview and I screamed in the middle of the Park Ridge Library. I wrote my email back and made my best friend Jaimey revise it at least 20 times, I wanted it to be perfect. The interview process was about to begin, and I can't possibly explain how nervous I was.     

   My first interview went okay. I kept revising everything I said over and over again. I should have said this instead of this. Why didn't I say that? I thought I was screwed. Three weeks later I finally received an email from Kelly. Kelly was the head of the day camp team and she wanted to do an over the phone interview. Two days later I sat in my bed with my phone on speaker and sat it on my chest. I was so nervous I would constantly take my scrunchie and slingshot it in the air and catch it. This interview went a lot better because Kelly knows me and my family better than Jessica. An hour and a half later the phone call was done. I felt a weight lift off my chest. Now it was time to wait. There would be days where I couldn't get the fact that I would be gone for the whole summer out of my head. I'm going to miss my friends, my family, my dogs. My friends would talk about country thunder, Lollapalooza, going to the beach and lake houses together. It just now set in my mind how much I would be missing. I started to over think and believe that I was only applying to be a counselor because of my brothers. I had planned my whole summer off of something that deep down I didn't want to do. Looking back at myself during that time I can't believe I ever thought that way.     

My mind shifted the day I came back from gym class with a voicemail on my phone. As I was walking to class I popped in my airpods so I could hear the message through the crowded hallways, It was Kelly, and she told me I got the job. immediately I started to cry. I've never cried at school before. The tears wouldn’t stop streaming, but it wasn't because I was sad. This was the happiest I had been all year. That was when I knew I wasn't doing this because of my brothers. I was doing this for me. When I got home from school that day I read through my camp journal, every passage was about how I wanted to work there so badly, it really put my perspective on camp back at the right place. Now I am sitting here, 15 days before the best summer of my life, sharing this story. In 15 days I get to spend a whole summer at my favorite place in the world. I get to spread the word of God to kids and be a role model for them. At the beginning of the year I thought I wasn't ready for this, I thought I wouldn't be able to leave my friends and almost backed out of applying, I am so thankful I didn't. My friends will still be there when I get back, and now I get to make even more friends and have the best summer ever.