Through the streets and through the fields, from one backyard to another, I would play some form of football pretty much my entire life. All my life I loved throwing the ball around with whoever wanted to throw it with me. Whenever I would go on vacation, I would bring a football or buy one at a store in the area. Football brought out this happiness in me that I really did not feel from anything else, the adrenaline that kicks in when your on the field is an unbeatable feeling. My parents did not let me play it though, all the way up until 7th grade. Before I was actually in uniform playing, I would play street ball with my friends and spend hours upon hours just whipping the ball far across the field and making my friend go up and catch it. I did not have an accurate arm, but I could throw the ball pretty far.

When I got into 8th grade, I begged and begged, and my family finally gave in, they let me play in the Park Ridge league football. It was my first year, so I was very nervous. I was taller and weighed more than most the kids on my team, but I was still skinny. I thought I was going to play wide receiver but I ended up playing on the defensive line. In the National Football League, the HUGE guys were the ones on the defensive line, and was like that for highschool and college. But for me, I was just some skinny tall dude on the line, surprisingly I still made plays. When I got into highschool not much changed, I tried out for receiver, but I was put on the defensive line. I thought I was going to hate it in highschool, but I loved it.

My position stayed the same, but so much more changed. The practices became way more intense, the hitting got harder, the practices got longer, the sprints were more tiring. As time progressed the amount of headaches I was getting increased, I threw up a couple times during practice, so many things that didn’t happen before. I started watching more and more videos, reading more articles, looking at more documentaries about CTE. CTE is a degenerative brain disease that is caused by constant trauma to the brain, I started to realize all the hits I take to the head and all the headaches I get are part of this. My mom asked me one day “Nico, do you really like playing football?” “Yes, of course” I responded “I was looking at all these things about what football does to your brain, all the hits to the head can change you”. Her words hit me, pretty damn hard. I thought about these things so much. They almost consumed me. After my sophomore year of football was finished, I wasn’t considering not playing football, I still wanted to play. One day in gym, we were playing Badminton. I jumped up high to hit a serve and landed on my friends foot, and snapped my ankle. The adrenaline was already in me from going hard in badminton, so the pain wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, so I kept playing. After about twenty minutes It started to kick in, my ankle was completely swollen, right then and there I knew it was broken. I went to the doctor and found out I needed to wear a boot for eight weeks, after that, a splint for another three. As soon as I was done recovering, about to be perfect, my gym teacher made me run the mile because it was so overdue. My ankle killed after it, It was throbbing, was swelling up again, all the signs of when I first broke it. I stayed in my splint for another 3 weeks, but even now today I still get a little pain in my ankle. This pretty much ruined my chances of me ever going back to the same player I was in football.

This is where I had to make a decision, do I play football, and risk more injuries to my body and my head, and not even be able to play at my full ability? Or do I not, and focus more on the other parts of my life and have a better chance at having a healthy brain when I’m older? I picked the second choice, for a number of reasons. The things my mom would talk to me about which persuaded me to not play took an affect. My ankle injury took a huge affect, and the research on CTE was the cherry on top, it pretty much led me to the conclusion: Why keep playing when my ankle is busted, and get more brain damage? My mom said to me “Nico, I’m just warning you about what football does to your brain, if you want to play football I will be completely ok with it! I do not wanted to force you to not play something that you love, it’s up to you.” “I’ve made my decision, I love the game mom, it’s just not worth it…” I responded.

This decision affected my life greatly. It changed the way I look at things in life. It made me realize that this life we live in is our only one, and damaging your brain over a game i’m only going to play in high school is not where near worth it. I have no idea what my life would be today if I kept playing, my life could’ve went in a better direction, or a worse one, I’ll never know. One thing I know for sure is I saved my brain a big amount of trauma. It may sound like a cowardice thing to say, but In my eyes, it just isn’t worth it. This in my opinion was the biggest decision I have ever made involving my life and it’s future. It set me on a path that was once set on football to the complete opposite.