The definition of patience is to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting upset or angry. I used to think patience was unachievable because it asked us to suppress our emotions and tolerate the situation. Through my recent life experiences, I have learned that patience is not making yourself small and letting the situation consume you. It is actually the opposite; it is looking at the situation and having the self-control to wait for the initial shock, sting, or set of emotions to pass and rationality to sink in.

A life-altering experience that tested my patience was my parents' divorce. My parents now are better friends than they were when they were married, but without hindsight, I did not see that benefits of their splitting up. They started this process my eighth-grade year of high school, so not only was I entering a different school life but I felt my home life was crumbling. I had known for a while that this change was coming but the process of it actually happening took a toll on me that I did not expect. I started questioning everything in my life including my faith. There were two major pillars in my life one being my family and the other my faith, so when one started to falter I looked to the other for answers. At first, I did not find the answer I was looking for which was immediate relief of the pain so I turned my back on my faith. This left me feeling even emptier because now the two, constant things that had always been the root to the rest of my life were both failing me.

After a while, I tried again with my faith and it took me a long time of searching to realize I was not being punished or attacked; in fact, I was being challenged. I would not have gained the knowledge and self-control that I needed to obtain the true meaning of patience if I did not experience their divorce. This change of heart did not happen all at once it took me over two years to come to the realization that my life before was better because I had my faith and my family and I was the one who pushed both away. My parents even though they were separated were not separating from me and God was always there for me I just chose not to look to him. Once I chose to take a step back and let everything fall into place without overreacting or ignoring my emotions, then I felt at peace with my life. This experience also showed me that the hardest times in your life probably feel so hard because you are being taught a challenging lesson. Most people resist change, so we must learn to be patient and look at the big picture or life lessons that situation could bring to us.

Now and for the rest of my life, I will have a new tool in my back pocket called patients. I have already started using it little by little in my everyday life with stress in school, but also with major situations like friendships and breakups. I used to hate patience and how everyone said time heals because I just wanted to be healed at the moment. Going through these experiences I have learned that the pain at the moment teaches you how to grow as a person and having the patience to ride out the pain makes you so much stronger.