When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free.

-Charles Evans Hughes

Identical twins occur when one fertilized egg splits and two babies develop in one embryonic sac. They are exact duplicates of each other. Two different people with the same genetic make-up. Myths regarding identical twins: they speak their own language, they can talk to each other telepathically, and, somehow, they have the exact same personality. I understand why others may be intrigued. But, what is a fraternal twin? Well scientifically, it means that two different fertilized eggs formed in two different embryonic sacs. They are related about as much as normal siblings. In other words, they are completely different, independent beings.

To the untrained eye, only colors separate the two. Both Midwest, both in the Big Ten, both similar size, both attract similar people, both have similar devotion, and both LOVE football. But dig a bit deeper, and the competitive nature of football brings out a feeling almost as strong as hate between the two. And yet, mutual success helps the other; money goes to the Big Ten which benefits everyone, but that does not seem to matter. Every year, students cross out every M on the entire OSU campus. The idea of scarlet and grey makes Ann Arbor gag, and humiliation is almost guaranteed for one team. True fans of the game consider it the best college rivalry in the country. Respect is in short supply. Maybe it is the similarities that cause the tension. On the other hand, maybe hate is not the right word because if you ask a real fan, they would rather the other team win against another conference than lose. Isn’t that crazy? Hatred for an entire year, but when someone else messes with them, sibling instinct kicks in to protect each other.

“Comparison with myself brings improvement, comparison with others brings discontent.”

-Betty Jamie Chung

“Careful, the twins only get a half glass, otherwise they spill,” my nursery teacher often said.  My life started as a twin, and for the most part of my childhood, the label stuck. I still have a picture of us as babies with hats branded A and B. Wow, I got my very own letter! Every other baby in the hospital had tags, we did too, but the doctors still found it necessary to tag us A and B. Everything I did was associated with Matthew; likewise, everything he did was associated with me. We had the same friends, hobbies, interests… everything. On our basketball team, our coaches would tell the rest of the team to find a twin (meaning one of us) and let them take the ball up. We would have to fight over who got what clothes so we would never match. It did not matter which one, just one of us. We were both die hard fans of the the same teams. We nearly always ended up hanging out, not necessarily by choice, but because we had the same friends.  Yet, we were two very different people. I hated when people described me as a twin, as if I only merited half of a whole human being. I yearned for others to see me as my own individual. It made me really competitive.

Overnight camps have been studied over the years in order to quantify the impact they have on kids. One of the main benefits of camp is increased social skills. Living in close quarters with other kids forces people to learn how to compromise, empathize, and communicate with one another. Campers often return home more adaptable to others around them and to quote one of my camp’s cliches “do not sweat the small stuff.” Of all of the things that camp has done for me, helping me grow as a friend and brother tops the list.

The rivalry involves a strange dynamic. When around others, expressing  hatred and dominance is all that matters. I could never allow anyone to think that Ohio State  measures up to Michigan. Yet, when up against a team outside the conference, Pac-12 vs Big 10, I suddenly root for OSU, It is like the saying “Only I can hit my sibling, you cannot.” Not really, but this sentiment, that the relationship is different in private than in public, stays the same.

“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.”

-Ralph Ellison

My grandparents went to camp, as did my parents, so for me, going to camp was just a part of summer life. At the thought of leaving home for camp, my 10 year old head started to scheme. This is my way out! I gave Matthew strict instructions: you pick your camp, and then I will pick mine. There. No discussion about what was good or bad or hurt feelings or what he wanted or anything about what others thought about it; just a determined fourth grader wanting to create his own identity. However, this additude did not come without its consequences. I started to push Matthew away by creating an image that I hated him. I did not, I just wanted my own world where I was Josh, brother of no one. In fact, until years later, Matthew’s feeling did not even come to mind. Being just Josh felt amazing from day 1.

I fight with my brother, try to look different, do everything I can to create my own identity. But, I still love him. I may rather hug a Buckeye before I say it outloud, but it’s the truth. It is this crazy thing that no one else may understand. We do our best to look different, but sometimes we forget that the things that are similar make us who we are. My Grandpa was the manager for Syracuse basketball and my poppa was supposed to play basketball in college. Of course we like the same sport. We go on the same vacations, live with the same parents. We have the same upbringing. So, it may be  rivalry a much of the time, but true hatred? Not a chance. More likely we are just trying to figure out life and inevitably our paths cross in both positive and negative ways. As we conquer the next stages of our lives, ample chances to differentiate ourselves will emerge. Maybe the new challenge will be how we stay similar.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

 
-Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr.
 
Camp did not come without its challenges, but I made the most of it. Eight years later I still have people that do not believe I am a twin. Here is how it happened: I gave my friends who knew me strict instructions not to say anything about Twin A. When people asked if I had siblings I would just say “a brother.” Who really cares about details anyway? For that summer, and all those that followed, I felt that I had my own family who only judged me for me. But, of course summers end fast and I still sought individuality at home. In that department, frustration often got the best of me. I would lash out, hit, yell, and push him away, trying to make him the smallest part of my life possible. That was the problem with my camp solution, hiding him away could only last a short time. Not to mention, I still loved him. We got along for the most part

and did lots of things together, however my inability to feel unique always got the best of me.

Throughout my life, I have been asked silly questions, like if I know what my brother was thinking on any and all issues. People assume that I have the same qualities as my brother, and no one understands why we are so different. Here is how I explain: I am related to Matt the same way you are related to your siblings, we were just born on the same day. For some reason that does not stick, and, as a result, it impacts our relationship. We avoid accidentally wearing the same clothing. Neither of us like sitting next to each other in crowds because people will pair us together. I hate more than anything when people assume I know what he is thinking. I do not know if they mean it as a “twinstincts” thing, but random people will come up to me and say, “I am working with Matt on something, what do you think his opinion on this will be?” I respond, “I do not know.” This is always followed by some response along the lines of “well, like what does your mind tell you, you guys are similar right?” Wrong. We are scientifically the same as any other pair of siblings, yet we always get clumped together.

Here is what I realized, even though the science may say we are the same as other siblings, our experiences do not. Most siblings do not compete on all the same teams, classes, and with friends. Most siblings do not share a grade. We are different and we are the same. We shove and hug, scream and laugh, run away from each other and always come back. But, what does that mean? Will I always get clumped with my twin? Will a battle for identity be a lifelong struggle? Or have I over-dramatized everything? I spent so much time struggling in my own efforts, I never noticed Matt thinking I hated him, or how he never thought he could talk to me.  I do not know if I will ever have answers to my questions, but I do know these thoughts have defined many life choices. So, next year is college, we will be in different places, different worlds, redefining ourselves. Will he still be a part of who I am? I do not see how I am who I am without him.

Work Cited

Department of Health & Human Services. "Twins - Identical and Fraternal." Better Health Channel. Department of Health & Human Services, 31 Aug. 2014. Web. 17 Dec. 2018.

Ellison, Ralph. "Ralph Ellison Quotes." BrainyQuote. Xplore, n.d. Web. 17 Dec. 2018.Evans Hughes, Charles. "A Quote by Charles Evans Hughes." Goodreads. Goodreads, n.d. Web. 17 Dec. 2018.

Jamie Chung, Betty. "Comparison To Others Quotes (28 Quotes)." Goodreads. Goodreads, n.d. Web. 17 Dec. 2018.

"Michigan-Ohio State: College Football's Greatest Rivalry." Great-sports-rivalries. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Dec. 2018.

Monke, Audrey. "The Impact of Camp Experiences on Social Skills and Happiness." American Camp Association. N.p., 06 Nov. 2015. Web. 17 Dec. 2018.

Wimbrow Sr., Peter D. "The Man In The Glass." My Comfort Zone. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Dec. 2018.