“If you don’t learn from your mistake than it was never a mistake”. Everyone makes mistakes,some are worse than others.Some people even learn from them.I know I did.My favorite mistake is something I will always regret.Self harm,is the biggest mistake I’ve ever done.It’s not something I’m proud of but it’s something that will always be part of my life.

 Ever since I was little I was not good at showing my emotions.I would keep everything inside and let everything build up.I was a very shy kid I didn’t really talk to anyone.I was also very self conscious about everything.Once I got to middle school is when I became very insecure.I noticed that I didn’t look like everyone else.At first I would tell myself that “It’s ok to be different”.

 Last year I had a downfall.I was in a very emotional dark place in my life.Between stress of school,school drama,and family problems it just became too much for me.The problem with me is that I would blame myself  for everything.I felt so alone and unloved.I had this sadness and anger inside of me that I didn’t know to deal with it.I started acting differently and my friends would ask me if i’m ok and I would simply say “I’m fine”.All these thoughts were going through my head and I didn’t know how to push them away.It’s not like I wanted to be sad I just felt sad all the time.I wanted to talk to someone about it but I just didn’t know how to explain to someone what  was going on when I didn’t fully understand either. I felt like everything was going in slow motion.I felt so angry with myself because I didn’t know what was going on.Soon enough I started talking to my friends about it I was scared at first that they were going judge me or think that I was crazy.They helped me out a lot,they helped me understand what I was going through.

 One night I couldn’t sleep then all these thoughts started running through my head.I tried to push them away but it didn’t work.What’s wrong with me I thought.I started to cry because I was feeling all these emotions.Then a thought came to my mind that changed me forever.I decided to harm myself.Right when it happened I regretted it more than anything.A couple days later my mom found about what I did.I was so scared.We talked about everything that was going on.She helped me get a counselor to talk to.It’s been difficult to open up to someone but im happy that i’m getting help.

 I learned that people do care about and I’m not alone.I also learned to never do it again.There is more options than self harm.You can always ask for help. My advice for people who are struggling with depression or self harm I would tell them their not alone.”Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem.”