It was summer. The last thing I wanted to do was go to my brothers’ high school graduation. I was just ending my freshmen year and I wasn't in the mood to start thinking about my future. But, I had woken up at 8 am on the weekend to go see him walk the stage. Not that I didn't want to celebrate for my brother, but there was also something else circling the day that was doomed to start some family drama. My brother had graduated high school, one of the biggest accomplishments of his life. But another life-changing decision had also been made. He wasn't going to go to college. Personally, at the time I didn't think anything of it besides that it seemed to bother my parents. It took my parents a while for them to finally get comfortable with the idea. It also took me a while to realize that I was not going to be able to take over his room. After a few months and after he landed a job that supported him, we all relaxed and got used to the idea of him staying home.

It wasn't until I hit the end of my sophomore year that I understood. I wasn't aware of the stress that must've come with the decision of not going to college, the amount of judgment that was passed by him. How many adults and hardly close family members asked him what he was going to do with his life as if they truly cared. My brother was not the best student. But despite all of the teachers who condemned him and society telling him that he won't make it without college, he is one of the smartest people that I know.

My brother is just one of many. Being marked as “stupid”, “slacker”, “incompetent”. And maybe they were right in some way. They couldn't learn the way that the school system teaches. The material being taught the same week as the exam doesn't teach, its memorization. This school system does not teach or prepare students for the future. It teaches how to cheat the system, to get by test by test just for the sake of keeping up a good GPA. Even the students who receive good grades aren't learning the way they should. Staying up so late to finish homework, cramming material just to get that A. Not only does the educational system perpetuate anxiety in students, but it also tears down confidence. Not being “smart” enough to join certain clubs, not having a high enough GPA to get accepted into college. Students don't care about actually learning the material. They care more about getting the grades to get them into a good college. For so many students test scores have wrecked self-confidence, having a score define them. An acceptance letter of prestigious colleges defines them. Schools have snuffed out creativity. While college applications continue to ask, “What makes you unique enough for our school?”.

So this is why my brother is someone that I look up to. Because he never stopped learning, he just stopped memorizing. He is more informed than most kids his age and ironically, most people older than him. But he is still labeled as “not good enough” because he decided to learn in a different way. Not that it hasn't been difficult to thrive in a world where success is defined by a degree. He doesn't let it stop him, he just continues to learn about the world in any way he can.

This is what's wrong with our educational system. Students have lost the thirst to learn because they haven't been shown what learning really is. For me, I want to learn but I can’t seem to connect with any of my classes and the way they are taught. I care more about the grade that I get than the information that I retain. It has been a mental struggle to keep trying after getting back scores that I don't think are good enough. That I am not good enough. The more I research the more I have found that I am not the only who struggles with this. So many students have lost their confidence because of this. The problem with this system has nothing to do with the students. Students do want to learn. But this ideal is challenged by the grade book. Colleges don't see the dedication and sleepless nights that go into those precious scores. All they see are the numbers, which does not define students. Knowledge doesn't have a definitive number, and neither should students.