Just a few more months- that's all I have left. A waste of a life, a waste of so many dreams.

I was born in a small village in Russia, where everyone was family,  and everything was very traditional. The father was boss- women were there to have the children.
My family consisted of my father, my mother, and a younger sister. Almost the entire village were our relations,  though.
Growing up, my life was pretty awful. Tata was abusive. I didn't know that at the time- I just thought that was natural, that I was stupid and weak. After all, he never treated my younger sister Maria like that.
But then everything came to a head. Despite the fact that Russia is almost entirely homophobia,  I had always struggled with my sexuality. At eleven, I had a sexual experience with a girl- and we were found out. Tata nearly exploded when he heard. He started taking off his belt and was about to hit me severely when Mama grabbed my hand and we raced out the house.
I don't know how she had the courage to do that. She was always so docile and obedient,  doing her job as a good Russian wife. But she did. And not only that, she managed somehow to get us to England, and register us as British citizens.  For someone who'd never made her own decisions before, she was incredible. She tells me now she did it because she had no other choice- she couldn't stand by and watch me be hurt. Her only regret is that she couldn't bring Maria with.
If I thought that it would finally be the end of my problems, I was wrong. Before I could even start school, I became ill. SSeriously ill. 
After trekking from doctor to specialist, we got the diagnosis. Cancer. A malignant angiosarcoma, already starting to kill me. A life prognosis of two- three years.
 It's been that already.  After aggressive treatment failed, I came home- to die.
Now, I have somewhere between four months to a year left of life. I have no friends, as I've never met anyone. I'm not allowed out of bed, and my mother works almost twenty four hours a day so she can pay for basics. A charity pays for round the clock supervision.
My clock is tickng down. Every day brings me closer to the inevitable.
Just do me a favour. Live for me. You have everything- please, for me, appreciate it. Dedicate it to me.
Yours, Anna