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My Imaginary Friend, Jessie
While most four year old girls are obsessed with princesses, I was obsessed with Jessie. Jessie was no princess, per se, but a sorceress from another realm called Magicland with red hair and blazing green eyes. She was a teenager, of course, probably about nineteen. I wanted to be just like Jessie. I wanted magic too, and her red hair (my parents, however, staunchly refused to let me dye my hair red).
Her biggest obstacle was another sorceress, one who just happened to look just like her and was able to form the same amount of magic. In order to fight this great obstacle, Jessie went to me and asked if I could help her. Somehow, I, too, was able to perform this magic and stop the evil Jessie from harming the people of Magicland. I'm not entirely clear on how Evil Jessie was a threat to the people of Magicland, as Good Jessie had never explained that to me, but I knew that I would have to hold her off and banish her whenever she threatened Magicland's perimeters. It had never occurred for me to kill off Evil Jessie, but fight her and her forces off and make them blow away to a separate island until she was able to come back again.
These battles, while lasting a couple of days, were not the bulk of my activities with Jessie. Jessie usually was there to just keep me company. Jessie was not a constant presence, but rather visited me at random moments. She learned not to visit me at school or when I was with my babysitter, where I already had friends, but would appear to me when I got home. Jessie would accompany me to the playroom, my grandmother's garden and even occasionally to the bathroom. When I got lost in Hershey Park, I relayed the news to her the next day.
Adults often asked me, "Who are you talking to?"
I would answer, "Just Jessie."
My sister, Rachael, even created a Magicland of her own with the same cast of characters.
"I want Magicland too," she said.
"Too bad," I said. "Jessie only visits me."
My mother argued that both of us could have Magicland, which didn't seem fair. Jessie came to me first! Eventually, Rachael gave up on her Magicland, leaving it with me alone.
At some point, though, it became clear to me that Jessie wasn't real. By definition, she had to be the product of my "imagination." It was around this time that I started to understand that having imaginary friends was "babyish". By the age of seven, I came to the realization that I was too old to have Jessie around.
I came to the decision that I would have to tell Jessie that I didn't want to see her anymore. When she came into the playroom to see me on that fateful day, I told her the truth.
"I'm too old for you, Jessie," I said. "I'm sorry."
"But you're my best friend," she said.
I started to cry. "I'm sorry," I said. "I just don't want to be a baby anymore."
Her head down, she nodded. "Okay, I'll leave."
"You can find other friends in Magicland," I said.
She ignored me, though, and faded away.
I started to cry. I missed Jessie, but I didn't want to be weird anymore. I kept crying for a little bit until my mother called me down for breakfast.
At first, it was hard to adjust to life without her. I would look behind my shoulder and wait for her after school, but she wasn't there. Yet in a month or so, I almost forgot about her completely.
Jessie kept her word. She never returned.
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Favorite Quote:
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.<br /> -Plato