Why I am the way I am | Teen Ink

Why I am the way I am

October 4, 2013
By Gravetitan4ever BRONZE, Leroy, Michigan
Gravetitan4ever BRONZE, Leroy, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.
-C. S. Lewis


In elementary school life was perfect, all of my class was a happy family all of us (apart from a few jerks) were in constant contentment. Sixth grade not only broke the stasis it changed us all. Everyone was stolen from a world of bliss and forced into a system where you must choose a role, Predator or Prey. Almost everyone else chose predator and followed the example of the Alpha bullies. I simply was frightened of all the malice and cruelty the Alphas inspired. So I ran, making me by default the prey. I (for some reason that eludes me) was a prime target for most alphas. I attempted to push away my attackers by acting dumb and/or crazy this warded some away at first but in the long run gave my opposers more ammunition.

Around 7th-9th grade I developed a reclusive personality. I started backing away from everyone who approached me in yet another futile attempt to thwart the onslaught of murderous wolves in children’s bodies. At 7th grade I got a friend named depression, I also gained suicidal thoughts and a constant urge to cut myself. I started running in the hallways about 7th grade. This was another attempt to flee, only this time I was fleeing from myself. In the confusion of sixth grade, I had changed from a very bright sanguine child to an extremely dark depressed teenager. When running failed I would resort to bottling up my feelings, which is what gave birth to random yet extreme emotional outbursts. In 8th grade everything grew steadily worse.

When my relatives saw my depression they tried to encourage me by telling me high school would be better, I thought they were crazy. At first I was right, high school was just as bad as middle school was, then I wandered into the library and saw some people who me and my best friend Josh classified as nerds, I saw them playing a card game called Yu-Gi-Oh, I sat down and watched them play, I noticed they were having fun (even when they lost). After I watched for a while, I decided I wanted to play this card game with them. Soon after I got into yugioh I learned about a card game named Magic: the Gathering, it was love at first shuffle. After time I gained a passionate love for card games that lasts even today. The friends that card games brought me helped me gain a new understanding. That people aren’t always what they seem to be. I am sure that if I hadn’t found out about cards and the friends they brought me I would’ve killed myself about tenth grade.


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on Apr. 24 2014 at 4:41 pm
TheWatchGuard BRONZE, Centralia, Washington
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Proof that Magic is the answer to everything.