I never understood the meaning of “falling in love.” Did one literally fall into a sweet haze of romance, or was it just a fictional metaphor given to describe something totally indescribable?
It wasn’t until I myself fell in love did I really understand what writers and poets and songwriters had been talking about. Love is like a river. It starts off with just a trickle, until it slowly gains strength, becoming a stream, a brook, a river, until finally becoming rapids, sweeping away all of us caught in its path.
When I saw you, I didn’t think that I would fall for you. Did you perhaps sense it? You were always so dreadfully kind, that maybe perhaps you sensed that something was going to happen between us. Or maybe I’m just being romantic and wordy. You are nice to everyone, and for me to assume that you treated me special is uncalled for.
You didn’t strike me as a Prince Charming. You are, and I will be quite frank, plain looking in some regards. You have sandy blond hair, freckles, and neat features that are all straight. Your eyes, I now notice, are a striking blue, something that no camera can capture. They look into my eyes, and then delve deeper, deep into my soul. When you look at me, you release feelings that I have no control over.
I look at you now and wonder why someone like you could hurt me so badly. I know that you never intended to injure me, to pit me against everyone else, but it happened, whether you intended it or not.
I now look into those once soul searching eyes, and wonder, why? Why did I fall for you? Why did I become so immersed in our relationship?
Because you cared about me. You must have said it a dozen times. Because I had never had a friendship, a partnership, like this before.
Was it the same for you? Did you see our growing friendship as something special? Did you see it as a small flower, budding in the concrete wasteland of our world?
And then I killed it. I released my pain and my sadness, destroying what we had nurtured together. A distance grew between us, until finally, the cord snapped, and we were no longer held together by our friendship.
And now I look at you and wonder, did it hurt as much for you as it did for me? Did you wish that you could rewind the clock and go back to when we were friends, perhaps even more? Do you wish that we could still be friends?
Maybe I need to move on, maybe I need to just forget, but I know deep down that I will never, truly get over you.