Thursday March 31st, 2011 was possibly the most fallacious, tormenting day of my life. I remember every unpleasant detail like it was a movie filmed from my eyes. There I was, sitting in my moms car, driving to the church. My head pressed against the window, listening to Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. It was not a normal day, and you could tell by the way I was dressed. A short, black dress, flower patterned tights, and high heels. Anyone who knew me would be surprised at my appearance this particular day. Time was passing to fast, it seemed like the blink of an eye and we were at the church.

I got out of the car and sauntered to the church, my dress rippling in the wind. I slowly entered the one place I didn’t want to be, and inside there were tons of people, with not many familiar faces. I made my way through the obnoxious crowd, and into the immense room. Soft music was playing in the background, and the center of attention, was the casket. As soon as I saw it, I knew immediately that everything I wished was a dream, was reality. I sat there asking myself why this had to happen, why it ended this way. I slumped in my seat for what seemed like days, wishing I could’ve done something, wishing this was all a dreadful dream I would soon wakeup from.

The music started slow, and gradually got louder. A strange man brought in the cross, but not an ordinary wood cross, a cross that fit Bryce perfectly. His family took his two favorite snowboards and made them into this beautiful thing. The service continued with some songs and prayer, then was the slideshow. Pictures of Bryce and all the memories flashed past the screen as Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd played. There he was, we were viewing his life as if he was still here. Childhood memories, family vacation, tons of adventures passed by on the screen as we remembered everything we lost and will never have again.

The worst part of the funeral in my opinion was his dads letter. As he stood up to read his thoughts to his son, you could see pain in his eyes. His voice shook with every word he spoke. The letter was very apologetic and made me cry the tears I never wanted to fall. Yet there was one part that made me completely loose it. I couldn’t see a reason to hold back my tears anymore. Every time I think about the letter I ask myself why these words hurt so much. The last words of the letter were “son I wanted to watch you fall in love”.

After the service, we drove to evergreen memorial park to say our last goodbyes. When my mom and I got out of the car, the wind was blowing atrociously. We walked to the gravesite and waited for my dear friend to arrive. Bryce was in a white casket, with yellow roses gently rested on top by his loved ones. Everyone said another prayer for our lost friend, and we said our final goodbye. I walked up to the casket and rested my hand on the cold wood. I thought to myself “goodbyes don’t exists, we’ll meet again.”

This experience changed my life completely. It taught me that no matter how much you dislike a person, don’t be cruel, you never know what’s going on behind that smile. It also inspired me to learn the 1st song I can play on guitar, Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. It showed me that there’s nothing harder than a goodbye. Never forget anything but don’t let the past bring you down.

The night of the funeral I was sitting up at the park above my house, with a candle, tears stained on my cheek, thoughts and memories kept racing through my head. Twenty minutes passed and I was starting to get cold, the wind wasn’t blowing, the night was just dark. I was staring at the flame of my candle, when suddenly it went out. I couldn’t figure out why, there was no wind, the wick on the candle was still long enough to burn, yet the candle still went out. I decided to come to the conclusion that maybe this was my sign to let go, maybe Bryce was telling me not to let my tears fall anymore, that he was in a better place.

Bryce was one of my friends, someone I’ve known since I was 5. We may not have been the best of friends but I still cared about him. I miss his unique smile and one of a kind humor. Every once in a while I’ll sit down and remember all the experiences I had with him. I remember when he broke his leg snowboarding, a thing that Bryce enjoyed a lot. I remember his kindness, and how no matter who you were he still cared about you. I remember how giving he was, if you needed anything, Bryce would put his best effort to give you a helping hand. I remember how completely amazing Bryce was, inside and out.

I still give my tears to my lost friend. I get on the bus sometimes and expect to see his familiar face sitting there, waiting for something to happen, but it’s all my imagination. I wonder sometimes, if I could’ve prevented this, but I remind myself I can’t always be the hero. I still let the words comfort me, “goodbyes don’t exist, we’ll meet again someday.” So I guess all I’m trying to say is not goodbye, but a see you again, my friend, Bryce. R.I.P.