I saw you. Oh, gosh you looked like shit. But I didn't mind. Sammi said to me "Look what you did to him." Did I
really do that? I didn't want to believe it, if I did.
But.. moving along. I didn't mind how you looked. As long as I got to see you. That one look is all it took for me
to- yes- fall in love with you all over again.
Did you see the pain in my eyes? Or maybe did you see happiness in them because I finally got to see you. But that
feeling only happened for a short while. It disappeared when we didn't talk. But I didn't mind. I was busy thinking
Thinking of us. How we used to be, While you were talking to my best friend. You two weren't being flirty though,
thank goodness. But you two were just two old friends messing around, and I had no problem with that. Like I said
I was thinking.. I was off into my own little world and you saw that I was too. You didn't bother to do anything
about it though. Why? I'll never know. I wish you did break my concentration. Well... you did. We would meet eyes
but only for a fraction of a second.
Did you know how much I wanted you to kiss me? Push me against the wall, and kis me passionatly. I miss that. and
Yes. I miss you. I miss they way you held my hand. You treated me like a trophy when we were together. Is that a
good or bad things? I'll never know. And to be honest, I don't want to find out.
When we said our goodbyes that night it felt like I was saying goodbye forever. It was like our break-up all over
again. But this brought me a diffrent kind of sadness.
You gave Sammi and hug, then me. A real hug. I hug I've longged for from about anyone. When my chest met yours,
it was like I wasn't there anymore. Like WE weren't there anymore. Before we released eachother-as much as we
didn't want to- I whispered into your ear "I miss you." I wanted to say that to you the first time I saw you that
night, but I felt shy. It was like we were little kids again.. like kindergarden, and I was meeting the new kid.
Or maybe, I was the new kid. But aynways, you gave me a kiss before you let me go and I walked away. And for the
first time in forever, I had butterflies. You gave them to me.
As I walked over to Sammi, I could tell she was being impatient and she wanted to leave. So i took one last glance
at you and walked away.
Walking away from you was the hardest thing for me that night. The hardest thing I've never done, I think.
When I walked out the double doors, and got in the backsteat of Sammi's Mom's car, I tried my best to choke back
my tears. I might have shed one, that night, but I don't remember.
This reminds me when we used to keep count of how many times you would make me cry. 48 Jordan.. 48.
You never knew why I'd cry over you... I told you they were little reasons, but you knew otherside, but you never
said anything because of two things. One- you knew I would never budge and tell you. And 2- You were scared.
The whole crying thing.. did i bother you? Knowing that you've made me cry this much? It bothered me. I promised I
wouldn't get attatched to you. But love is love right?