My name is an Irish name derived from Ó'Colmáin. It was an English surname given to coal workers. Worst of all, it was the names of the servants of Cole (Cole’s men). It is black like a beautiful obsidian rock that blends into its surroundings and may never be found. It is shadows on an artist’s painting. A detail that one must take time to realize and appreciate.

My name was decided upon after the movie Mr. Holland’s Opus. The son of Mr Holland was named Cole. Cole was deaf and his father was a musician. Cole could feel the vibrations of music and he could speak using sign language, but he could never experience the sounds that his father loved.

Cole was optimistic. Cole didn't give up on learning music. He believed his father could teach him. He hoped that one day his father would spend the time to do so.

On the contrary, I am not as optimistic. I am a realist who will take the side of whatever is most likely. I look at things as black or white. In this case, Cole is the glossy white, and Coleman is the black with no shine.

People often see my first name and think it is my last name. Once that person gets to know me, they often think of Cole as a nickname. I am indifferent when it comes to being called Cole versus Coleman. I let people acknowledge my full name, than choose their iteration. 

If I had the choice of any name, I would keep my name. My name is unique but not exotic. My name is easy to pronounce and spell, but it is not basic. My name comes with no bad connotations from people who wear the name poorly. My name sounds mature and not childish.  I like my name. It is the small details on a painting that make it one of a kind.