A Letter to My Younger Self | Teen Ink

A Letter to My Younger Self MAG

May 24, 2019
By kevinfanfan2002 BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
kevinfanfan2002 BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Dear ten-year-old Kevin,

 

Let me tell you what’s going to happen to you in the next six years. Yes, you’re comfortable right now, but trust me – you’re going to be thrust out of your comfort zone, go through these things in life called changes, and come out of them a completely different you.

No, this isn’t just about hitting puberty, but good job – you paid attention in Sex Ed.

First off, you’re going to move to a faraway land called Palo Alto in a few weeks. You’re going to say good-bye to the only house you have distinct memories of, as well as the only friends you’ve ever known. You’re going to have to give Analis away to a family friend because the new landlady doesn’t allow cats. You’re going to attend great schools and, as a result, you’re going to get challenged. A lot. There will be people who are much smarter than you and better than you and it’s going to be weird because that’s never happened before in your life. But this is how the real world works.

When you’re 11, you’re going to start going to this thing called church.

Yes, I know you don’t believe in God. Yes, you are a self-proclaimed atheist. And yes, you’re going to be skeptical at first, but if skepticism is the only thing that motivates you to find out the truth for yourself, then God will take it. C.S. Lewis once said, “Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.” So knowing that, just try to keep an open mind. And when you do, you’re going to realize one day that there is something at stake that is bigger than yourself, and then you are going to make the choice to follow Jesus and believe that through his death and resurrection on the cross, your sins are forgiven and you can be one with God when you die. And isn’t that the sweetest truth of all time?

When you’re 12, your parents are going to get a divorce.

And it will be nasty.

And for the first time, you’re going to experience doubts about your newfound faith. There are going to be days when you cry yourself to sleep at night, and nights when you can’t sleep. People are going to tell you, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” But you’re going to realize that this statement is fundamentally incorrect. When you’re a 12-year-old kid in a new town and things have deteriorated so badly that you can’t trust your own family anymore or say a simple “I love you” to them – this is definitely something you can’t handle by yourself. But even when your parents aren’t there for you, God will be, and you’re going to lean on Him. He’s going to dig you out of a mess that you can’t dig out of on your own, and one night you’re going to surrender your life to Him a second time and remind yourself of that every day.

You’re going to start high school; it’s going to throw you into the fire on the very first day. Classes are going to get harder, and you’re going to learn how to manage your time effectively on the fly. You’re going to juggle expectations, commitments, and mindsets, but you’re going to adjust well and learn many new things. God will put great teachers and friends in your life, and this isn’t just limited to school; you’re going to meet amazing people from all over the place and realize that life is so much more than school and grades and whatever college you go to. It’s also about the experiences you create for yourself, the people you meet, and the lasting connections and relationships that you build. When you see this truth for yourself, you’re going to become braver, stronger, and more charismatic. You’re going to receive many more opportunities to lead – not because you’ve become better, but because you’re more willing to take them. And you’re going to develop into a good leader with an easy smile and infectious laugh.

But you’re also going to face a lot of rejection as well, and because of that, a teeny-tiny dark part of you doubts yourself. You’re going to be afraid of other people judging you for who you are and what you do around them, and it’s going to show up in your daily life. You’re going to find it hard to look other people in the eye. You’re going to become reserved and awkward at times – especially around girls you like. And it’s going to make you kick yourself mentally because you want so badly to have a normal conversation as your normal self, but the words just won’t come out no matter how much you try to just relax and be yourself.

You’re going to be a little different than your friends in the way you act.

Some people will tell you that it’s a “good unique.” And those people are the ones that you want to stick around. They’re going to like you for you, and they’re going to look at those small quirks you have and appreciate them for what they are. And one of these days, you’re going to open up your closed book and share your life story with them. Yes, you do have some baggage. But that makes you human. And your past is going to be easier to tell because your present state is going great.

You’re going to start to appreciate the little things in life. The way the sun peeks into your bedroom through the half-closed blinds when you wake up, the cool breeze through your bike helmet as you try to make it to school on time, or late nights spent studying for that midterm with the soft noise of sprinklers watering the plants around your apartment complex. By extension, you’re going to see the proof that God exists everywhere you look – but not in the literal sense. You’ll see it in that stranger who helps out another stranger on the side of the road. You’ll hear it in those times when you’re sad and the first song that plays on the radio is the perfect one, or in those times when you’re struggling with something in your faith and that Sunday’s sermon is your word-for-word answer. And you’ll feel it through the people that come into your life through improbable circumstances and change it for the better.

Yes, you’re going to go through a lot. But in the end, you’re going to be fine. And not only are you going to be fine, you’re going to thrive because even though life hasn’t been smooth sailing so far, you’ve been taught well to roll with the punches and come out alive. Not unscathed, but alive. And that is what is most important.


God bless,

Kevin


The author's comments:

I'm a Christian with divorced parents. This is how I came to terms with my past.


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