This may be seen as a dismal story on its own. A young idealistic empath does her best to be positive in a world revolving around apathy and negativity. She shares her toys, listens to her teacher, and wants to help everyone. She believed wholeheartedly that like Sara Crewe in A Little Princess, Matilda, or Cinderella, those who are kind and have courage will have their happy ever after. But despite being good and following the rules like you’re supposed to, her peers ironically begin to see this as a bad thing. As she grows older, attitudes shift. Maybe if she hadn’t raised her hand in class or tried to contribute her ideas she wouldn’t have been considered a know-it-all or bossy. Maybe if she hadn’t of had the audacity to call out the unfairness and unkindness surrounding her she wouldn’t have been deemed prig and uptight. Maybe if she had given into the gossip and apathy of her peers she would have been included in the circles of the elite. They expected her to conform, but she had no intention of dissolving her values for the sake of a sad and angry world. Nevertheless, it hurt that despite her efforts to bring good into the world, the world just wanted to push that away. It hurt to the point where she now finds herself telling her story in the third-person, in hopes that she won’t be considered presumptuous again and can one day live without concern for the judgment of others.

A kind person is a dangerous thing, especially when paired with a commitment to tolerance, fairness, and what’s right. Society may say they place these qualities in high esteem, but I have seen in history, politics, and everyday life that those who fight for these things are often trampled on by those who are threatened by the inconvenience of playing fair and nice. I am saddened on a daily basis by the insensitivity of the world and society around me. They make laws and pass budgets they help themselves more than those who it’s designed to aid and expect us to be eternally grateful and patriotic. They make cruel jokes and speak crude language in the hallways and expect us to be impressed and amused. They stand in tight circles and gossip about this person or that person and expect us to join in and back them up. Then they go to church, or become leaders in their community, or go home to their families and pretend they are living as the examples they’re supposed to be. Those who resist the mold and earnestly try their best are scoffed at and rejected.

I refused to give in. I was earnest. I was trying. I was desperate. I was desperate to change the world I lived in, or at least refuse to be a part of it. I knew this wasn’t the easy way out. I knew that no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t single-handedly change people’s minds or change the world. But I knew I had to try.  I knew I couldn’t just say nothing when I heard people saying offensive or hurtful things. I knew I couldn’t just sit back watching as people were in pain and taken advantage of for the benefit of others. I knew that by merely speaking out, standing up, and stepping in, I was living my ideal. I was trying to make a difference.