“The day you left I’m not going to lie I thought the world was over. I remember 9 months ago watching you pull out of the driveway while I sat on the front stoop and cried becausdodn’t want you to leave.” These are the words I posted along with a picture on my Facebook wall about a week ago. These words were written to my sister and my sister is my biggest inspiration. She’s my biggest supporter, my go to person, my best friend. I have never in my life met a more selfless person. She would do anything for anyone even if the task was ridiculous. She’s been gone since July 6th 2012 in 11 different countries on missionery assignments. So far her favorite place was Uganda. She said it was the most beautiful country.

I can definitely say most people don’t know anyone who is genuinely inspirational. I do though; my sister truly is an inspirational person. She gave up everything she knew and loved to go serve other people all around the world. She missed my 16th birthday, the birth of her best friend’s baby, the holidays with family, and so much more. It’s not like she wanted to miss these things, but she felt like she was called upon this and she’s one of those people that whens she puts her mind to it she does it no matter what. Another thing people can’t say they do every day is put their life at risk. But Toni does that every day! For example while she was in Vietnam it was illegal for someone to spread the word of God, especially if you aren’t from that country. She continued to do that every day. The food is also very unfamiliar and has caused her to be sick sometimes. She also has scoliosis and sleeps on an uncomfortable pad so that messes up her back. She’s also around many different diseases daily that she very well could contract, and she has a weak immune system. Even though there are many dangers she’s faced with, she doesn’t stop doing her mmissionery work and I know she wouldn’t change it for a thing.

She’s one of the most selfless people I’ve met in my life. She’s really motherly and nurturing. In every country she’s been the one who’s been put with the kids. When she was in Thailand I believe there was an old woman who Toni was fascinated by. She grew her own potatoes and had like 6 kids. She wrote a blog about how the kids chased the car as she left because they didn’t want her to go. She’s gentle and kind and so kids from other countries aren’t frightened by her. She’s always the one who wants to play with the little kids or if someone’s hurt she wants to help them. They’re have been times that she’s had work in the morning but regardless of that she would stay up and listen to me cry for hours. She puts everybody before herself and that’s something almost no one can say they would do. She’s so patient as well. I lived with her 2 summers ago and I’m a really stubborn person and so is she (normally she got her way :P ) and I remember I wouldn’t want to do something like clean or eat my real food before desert and she would sit there with me until I did what she wanted me to do, even if it took hours she would sit there patiently not saying anything waiting for me to finish.

When you’re little, you’re always asked “what do you want to do when you’re older” I always wanted to be a performer. If you were to ask me now, I would say I want to be like my sister. She’s the most kind hearted person you’ll ever meet. She’s incredibly motherly as well. One time we were shopping and there was this outfit I REALLY wanted but she said no because it was to inappropriate so I sat in the dressing room and cried and threw a fit and she calmly waited for me to finish my tantrum so we could move on. She’s also so independent. I know that I’m a very dependent person. She depends on only herself. I depend on Toni and more than anyone in the world. I would love to say one day I only need to depend on myself. It’s a goal I have.

Having her gone has definitely been one of the hardest things I’ve had to overcome but it’s made me appreciate her so much more. I used to get mad at a lot of the things she said and now I wish I could hear her yelling at me for stupid things I do. Or texting her every day, I miss that. I know now I will never take her for granite. I try to pretend that she’s just like “away and college” but it’s hard to lie to yourself when you know there’s that little chance she gets hurt on her mission and that’s not something you can just brisk off. “I miss you more and more each day” That is how I ended my Facebook post about her. She’s my inspiration, my rock, my support, My overly protective big sister and she’ll be home in 87 days!