You say I?ll make up every excuse in the book not to call you, and it?s true I will. Now I could put the blame on you thousands of different ways, your too quiet, your spacing out, and I really truly do blame you, but to be completely honest is to put the blame on myself and how I am.

I?ve tried to explain this to you over and over to no avail, but it just won?t click. You?ll make no way for my petty excuses any longer, and you retreat to your side of the battle ground. The fight will rage on once again, and all this fighting, this unnecessary thing that is too familiar to us will resume; probably worse then last time, or the time before that.

As my words echo in your head, and you still don?t understand their meaning, remember that the fight will keep getting worse, before our invisible ties are severed once and for all.

Now why the fuss over a phone call, why not pick your phone up? The answer is as simple as I cant. This thing bridges me apart from the world, keeps its seal tight, with locks and bolts of restraint that nestle me closer every chance I get to break free. It?s the life and day of me living with social anxiety.

I know you?ve heard it all before, it?s really no excuse. You think its favoritism over him, and it?s even worse over her, but really it?s just me. The voice on the other end makes me want to scream, carrying on silly conversations with no baseline or meaning. I know I only call you when I?m mad, but that?s only so I can hang up when I need to... This is hard for me, even when your my best friend.

Please forgive me and this ticking time bomb,
Your best friend