Dear My Four Year Old Self, 

When I was young I remember sitting in the backyard passing the ball around with my aunt, and learning all about soccer. When we are young, just about all of us have that one dream to play that one sport we really enjoy forever, in hopes to become some professional player. My aunt told me stories about her playing when she was growing up, and how she played all throughout high school. I told her then, “I want to become a professional soccer player.” 

Throughout the years of playing I can’t exactly say that I have always wanted to play professionally, it was up until I was 10 and I was out of that idea that I could, then I moved on to say I want to play in college and that will be the furthest I go with soccer, even then I’m at the point where I will stop playing after my senior year. 

As I have continued throughout the years, currently in my junior year of high school playing, and this will be my 12th year of playing all together. We have come so far, from being at rock bottom in the beginning to becoming really good, this journey in soccer has been a roller coaster. It has its highs and lows. My coaches up until high school have always talked so highly of our playing, I was 13 years old playing with 17 year olds and that's an accomplishment.

 I really thought freshman year I was going to make it on varsity considering that was 7th grade, but I didn’t. Then sophomore year came around, and again, thinking it was going to be a better year it was not, still didn't end on varsity. Coaches did not really choose this fairly and based on skill they chose favorites. 

I called my mom crying one day after a game. She was very disappointed after everything I told her and I told her I wanted to quit playing for this team and never play again. I did not give up, knowing I wanted to, and feeling like I should. I pulled through with the season knowing that it was going to be my last one for this team. I neve gave up, and I guess that is the lesson, never give up, you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. This is no longer what I want to be, but has always been a dream of mine since I was 4. I am so proud of those who go off to play in college and go far with their sport, that's just something I won't do.

 While growing up and going through high school I found a love for psychology,I have grown up watching shows like criminal minds, and have always had a weird interest in criminals. I have always wanted to know what the psychology behind their criminal actions are and their motives, why they do what they do. I have gone through so many phases of trying to figure out what I want to be going from Lawyer, CSI, criminology, etc. To finally figure out what I want to do. 

Now we get asked everyday in highschool by teachers, parents, family, and friends, “what do you want to be when you get out of high school?” My answer now is always, criminal psychology.  

Sincerely, 

17 year old me